


The Hour Before Dawn

by kashmir



Series: Cop AU [8]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-22
Updated: 2007-06-22
Packaged: 2017-10-09 02:06:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/81809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kashmir/pseuds/kashmir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen and Jared, both New York City police officers, are assigned to the case of a string of murdered prostitutes. As they delve deeper and deeper into the underbelly of the city, the case not only threatens their relationship but their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hour Before Dawn

He'd been at the station filling out reports for hours about an armed robbery he and Chris had had to deal with earlier that afternoon, long after Jared's shift had ended. By about ten thirty, all Jensen wanted to do was go home and crawl in bed with Jared and sleep for around fourteen hours. They were both finally back on days after a month of working opposite shifts and hardly seeing each other. When Jensen finally got in, it was really late, almost one in the morning. The apartment was dark and he tried hard to be quiet, not wanting to wake Jared if he was sleeping already.

Suddenly, he was grabbed from behind and he started to struggle, thinking someone had broken into their place. But then Jared's giggling sunk in and he elbowed him in the stomach.

"Ass. You're lucky I didn't pull my gun on you," Jensen grumbled, bending down to pick up his suit jacket that he'd dropped. He stopped when he felt Jared's hands on his hips, Jared's hard cock grinding into his ass.

"Been kinda lonely, tonight, Jen," he whispered, voice rough and low. Jensen shuddered and straightened up a bit.

"Gonna fuck me, Jay?" Jensen asked, rubbing back against him.

Jared leaned down and bit on his earlobe, hard. "Bet your sweet ass I am. Right here, too."

Jared's hands were already undoing Jensen's holster and then his belt, his gun making a quiet thump when Jared placed it on the floor. The next thing he knew, Jared was frog marching him towards the couch, bending him over the arm, his pants suddenly down around his ankles. He heard the snick of the lube bottle being opened and craned his neck around to look at Jared, who was fucking _naked_ as a jaybird.

"You planned this didn't you?" Jensen asked, watching as Jared slicked his own cock up with the lube. Jared grinned and crowded against Jensen.

"Mmm hmm. Been thinking about this tight ass of yours for hours, Jen," he said as he slid his fingers in, stretching Jensen fast and almost brutal. "Been thinking about fucking you so hard, fucking you wide open, making sure you felt it for weeks. Want you to remember what my cock feels like buried in you."

Jensen whimpered and pressed his cheek down into the cool leather of the couch. He felt Jared withdraw his fingers then the hard, blunt pressure of Jared's cock breaking him open, pressing in. Jared was panting behind him, huge hands bracketing Jensen's hips as he slowly, so fucking _slowly_ bottomed out, finally just resting against Jensen's ass.

"God, Jen. Such a fucking slut for my cock, aren't you?" Jared murmured, hand sliding up the length of Jensen's damp spine to rest between his shoulder blades, holding him down. "Gonna take it hard, aren't you?" he asked before snapping his hips back and into Jensen hard, making all the air in his lungs rush out. Jensen closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, panting Jared's name with every punishing thrust.

Jared was spouting filth and dark, dirty promises into the darkness of their apartment as he fucked Jensen over the arm of the couch, hips snapping, Jensen whimpering beneath him in pain and pleasure. He couldn't get a hand under himself to jerk off, felt like he'd die if he didn't get some relief _soon_ when Jared must've finally took pity on him because he reached around and wrapped a huge hand around Jensen's wet, hot dick.

"God, pretty little whore, aren't you? You my pretty little whore?" Jared muttered and Jensen managed to stutter out a _yes_ then bit back a cry when Jared changed the angle of his thrusts, making Jensen see stars with each one. Jared's hand on his dick was rough and fast and Jensen felt the tension coiling in his limbs, the pleasure centering in his groin.

"G-gonna oh fuck, Jay.. I'm gonna-" was all he managed to get out before coming all over Jared's hand and the couch and his stomach in sticky hot bursts.

Jared grunted and then grabbed Jensen's hips once again in both hands, pulling him back onto his cock with each thrust. Jensen was a boneless weight beneath him, pliant and loose as Jared fucked him, used him. Jared got quieter the closer he got to coming until he was just making these little 'unh unh' noises that never failed to make Jensen's stomach curl tight with pleasure. Jared slid a hand up Jensen's back just then, hand tangling in his short hair before tugging, once, hard enough to make Jensen cry out in pain as Jared stilled and came in a hot, wet rush inside of Jensen. Jared whimpered then collapsed against Jensen's back, their sweat making their skin cling together, their panting breaths harsh and loud in the still apartment.

Finally Jared straightened and pulled out of Jensen before pulling and tugging Jensen until he was upright. He maneuvered Jensen until he was standing facing Jared. Jared smiled ear to ear then leaned down and kissed Jensen square on the mouth, lips soft and slightly chapped.

"Bed?" He murmured against Jen's lips. Jensen nodded then stripped off his shirt where he stood, leading the way back to their bedroom naked and sated. They fell asleep in a tangle of limbs and sheets, facing each other, Jensen's hand tangled in Jared's hair.

...

Jensen woke him about half an hour before their usual alarm rang, with insistent hands and his soft warm mouth, trailing kisses down Jared's lean stomach. Jared inhaled a deep breath and let it out on Jensen's name as Jensen licked a stripe from his navel down to his pubic hair, before raising his head to wink at Jared, Jensen's hair sleep rumpled and spiky. Jared bit his lip then, as Jensen slowly started to mouth at his cock, tongue circling the head and paying special attention to the knot of nerves on the underside, right where Jensen knew it drove Jared nuts. Jared's one hand fisted in their navy sheets while the other cupped the back of Jensen's skull, not pushing down or guiding, just... cradling, needing the contact.

Jensen put both of his hands on Jared's hips then, holding him down a little as he took Jared's cock in his mouth in one motion, his swollen cock head brushing against the back of Jensen's throat. Jared let out a garbled moan as Jensen started to bob his head, slow and sweet, making Jared's blood pool in his groin, his skin to prickle with heat and his breath to catch with each lick, each suck, each movement of Jensen's slick, hot mouth on his cock. Jared could feel the pleasure start to gather, his balls tightening as his orgasm crept closer and closer with each velvet brush of Jensen's tongue and he whimpered, tried to warn Jensen. But Jensen must've known, knew Jared's body so well after a year of being together like this. He pulled off, a thin trail of saliva and pre-come connecting his mouth to Jared's purple, swollen cock as he sat up, eyes smoldering as Jensen fisted his own cock lazily and sat back on his haunches.

Jared reached for Jensen's hand, tugging him down until he was laying over Jared, their erections rubbing against each other, cock heads catching and slick pre-come mingling. Jensen braced himself on his arms and Jared spread his legs a little, biting his lip and throwing his head back as Jensen started up a slow, easy rhythm, the friction making Jared feel like he was going to lose his mind if Jensen didn't start moving faster, harder, god, anything but this relentless slow heat. Jensen leaned down and nipped and sucked at Jared's throat before cupping his face and tugging until Jared's lips were aligned with his, till he could get his teeth sunk into Jared's bottom lip, then soothe away the tiny hurt with his tongue. Jared whimpered into his mouth, begging without words for more, more of everything. Jensen smiled against his lips then slid a hand down between them, encircling them both with one warm, callused palm.

Jensen worried Jared's ear lobe between his teeth. "Should have you, unh, doing this, Jare. With your freakin' huge hands."

Jared huffed out a chuckle that was more of a moan than anything and arched into Jensen's firm grip. "N-next time, oh-oh _Jesusfuckrightthere_! Jensen!" Jared felt the orgasm build in his belly then explode out his cock, white hot and mind numbing, his body shivering beneath Jensen's as he emptied himself against Jensen's cock and hand and stomach.

Jensen made a small whimper in his throat then sat back again on his knees, fist working his own gorgeous cock fast and hard, Jared's come and Jensen's own fluids making obscene noises as he stroked his own cock, then shuddered and bit his lip. Jared watched, rapt, mouth open as the morning sun filtered in through the eastern windows behind Jensen, making his skin glow gold and peach, his hair shine as he panted and moaned his way through what looked like an intense orgasm, stomach muscles rippling. He whispered Jared's name as his hips arched violently once, twice, three times as he came, messy, all over his own thighs and hands and Jared's stomach.

Jared caught him when he collapsed forward, chest heaving and skin glistening in the early August morning. He nuzzled Jensen's sweaty hairline. Jensen made an unintelligible noise and snuggled closer, just as the alarm on the side table blared to life, some inane pop song coming through the speakers. Jensen made another noise, this one of the displeased variety and tried to burrow further into Jared's shoulder and neck. Jared chuckled then gave Jensen's ass an open-handed slap.

Jensen yelped then sat up straight, wincing as their sticky stomachs separated. "Good morning to you, too, jerk," he said as he rubbed at his ass cheek, trying and failing to glare at Jared. Jared sat up and kissed Jensen's pouting mouth.

"It _is_ a good morning. But. We have work in a few hours so.... Wanna shower together then stop for breakfast before we head into the station?" Jared asked, running soothing hands over Jensen's back and ass. Jensen pretended to ponder Jared's proposition as Jared mouthed lazily at the skin on Jensen's shoulders.

"I think that sounds-" Jensen started but Jared's cell started to ring just then and he reached over to grab it, flipping it open when he saw it was Rosenbaum calling.

"You had better have a damn good reason for calling this early, Rosey. I mean, I know you and Tom are stuck working nights still but _some of us_ are back to keeping normal hours over here and-" Jared is cut off by Mike, sounding entirely too solemn for Jared's taste.

"You better get down here. Corner of a hundred and tenth and Winchester. Another hooker was killed last night," Mike said, the sound of sirens and what Jared knew now was a fresh crime scene in the background. He felt his stomach bottom out and could tell the sick feeling in his gut was now reflected on his face as Jensen mouthed 'what's up' to him.

"We'll be there in fifteen. Is Morgan on his way?" Jared asked, already getting out of bed, heading towards the bathroom. It looked like quick, perfunctory showers and then a long, tedious day of gathering evidence and interviewing witnesses (if there were any). He heard Jensen start digging clothes out of the bureau and turned on the water in the shower.

"Yeah, he's the one who told me to call you. Listen. Jared..." Mike trailed off and Jared felt his stomach sink even further as Jensen stalked into the bathroom and started brushing his teeth. "I think. I think you might've known this kid."

Jared closed his eyes and bit his lip. "Do you have a positive I.D.?"

There was some rustling on the other end then Mike's voice. "Milo Ventimiglia. Connecticut driver's license and a student I.D. card for Cooper Union, along with a social security card in the wallet. His face," Mike paused, knowing how Jared felt about the string of murdered prostitutes and their mutilation and castration at the hands of some psycho. "His face was mostly intact. Looks like the photos on both I.D.'s."

Jared knew if he had anything in his stomach he'd throw up. He couldn't decide whether to scream or cry in outrage. "Goddammit," he hissed out. "I knew him. He was only out hustling to help pay for school. No way was he a lifer. Sonofabitch." Jensen paused in the middle of shaving and watched Jared in the mirror. Jared shook his head and Jensen nodded, knowing Jared would fill him in once he was off the phone.

Mike let out a heartfelt string of expletives himself. "That's what I thought. Shit. Listen, just get here ASAP. I think Morgan's gonna put you and Mayhem in charge of this one. Tom and I are too busy trying to nail Colantoni still."

Jared watched Jensen step into their shower stall, body a soft silhouette behind the frosted and steamed glass. "Yeah, okay. If he gets there before I do, tell him I'm on my way. Did you call Murray?"

"Yeah, he sounded like he's been holed up somewhere and is just crawling out of a whole fifth of whiskey," Mike answered him. "But he's on his way too."

Jared sighed. "That's Chad. Okay Mike. See you in a bit." He clicked off and sat the phone on the counter by the sink, bracing his arms against the counter and opening his eyes. Jensen poked his head out, soap suds slicking down his chest.

"Another murder?" he asked Jared, but Jared knew he knew already. He met Jensen's concerned gaze in the mirror above their sink.

"Yeah," Jared answered, voice gone soft. "Fourth one this month." He turned to face Jensen head on. "Remember that kid Milo I told you about? The one I got to be friends with, the one who was hooking to pay his way through art school?"

Jensen's face fell as realization set in. "Oh, Jesus, Jare. I'm sorry. Come on, get in here so we can get dressed and down there. I know you're itching to do something." He closed the door behind himself and Jared stripped, a small smile on his lips at how well his lover knew him. He opened the door with a quiet click and stepped in.

"Move over, Jen, you're hogging all the hot water," he mumbled, playfully shoving Jensen to the side. Jensen chuckled under his breath and continued to soap up his hair.

"Hush up, gigantor. Not my fault you take up twice the space a normal person does."

Jared let out a quiet chuckle and placed a soft kiss on the clean, warm skin of Jensen's shoulder, thankful he at least had this - Jensen and their life together.

...

Later that day, after they were done with interviewing the last two people to see Milo alive - his roommate, Alexis, some girl who was addicted to crack and hooked to feed her addiction, and one of Milo's best friends from school, a kid named Masi - they headed over to their favorite after-work spot to meet up with the rest of the guys to compare notes and speculate. Chad and Jared had officially been put in charge of the investigation and Jared couldn't wait to talk to Morgan in the morning. He had some ideas on how to go about cracking this case but he had a feeling in his gut that Jensen wouldn't like them.

He tried to let that go as he swung open the door to O'Malley's, holding it for Jensen and pausing, scanning the length of scarred wooden booths along the wall until his eyes adjusted to the dim light. He spotted Mike and Tom towards the back, nursing some draft beers. Chris was at the juke box and Chad was at the bar, either ordering food or annoying Eric, the bartender and owner.

Possibly both at the same time. It was a gift Chad seemed to have.

Jared and Jensen made their way back to the huge booth and settled in side by side. Jared held up two fingers, Eric nodded and pulled two Bud's from the tap before bringing them over.

"Here ya go, boys. Want me to put it on your tab?" Eric asked, order pad stuck in his waist band and dish towel slung over one shoulder. He'd opened the bar thirteen years ago and no one, not even his regulars, knew why he'd named it O'Malley's. Considering his last name was Kripke.

Jared took a sip and nodded as he swallowed. "Yeah. And get us an order of fries and two cheeseburgers, could you?"

Eric nodded and smiled. "Sure thing, man." He turned to Mike and Tom. "Your order'll be up soon and tell that jackass Chad his'll be up too."

They all chuckled as Eric walked away and Chris and Chad joined them, bottles in their hands. Chris pulled a chair over from a nearby table and swung it around, straddling it backwards. Chad squeezed in next to Jared and started jiggling his leg, a nervous habit that always drove Jared nuts.

"So, boys," Mike started. "How'd it go today?"

Jared sighed. Thought about how little they had to go on from Milo's roommate and best friend. "Not good. Not a lot of physical evidence at the scene. Still waiting on the toxicology report and the autopsy from Steve. Doesn't look like he was raped or sexually assaulted, just..."

Jared swallowed and Jensen squeezed his leg under the table and picked up where he'd left off, knowing how much this particular murder was bothering him. "Just mutilated and castrated like the others. Steve seems to think his body was dumped at the scene, due to the lack of physical evidence we found there. Or didn't, actually."

Tom took a swallow of beer before speaking, as Chad and Chris started to bicker quietly about the song on the juke box. "So the killer's been moving the bodies? That's an interesting piece of information. Does Steve know what the cause of death was? There was so much blood... It was hard to tell."

Jensen nodded as Jared took a swig of beer, staring intently at the scarred table top. "His uh. Throat was slit. Looks like the same type of weapon that was used on the other three. Steve'll know more once he does the autopsy. But he was... he was tortured first. Steve said if his throat hadn't been cut, he probably would've bled out from getting his…from getting castrated anyway."

Jared swallowed hard again, trying to be professional. "So. Same M.O. as the previous three. Looks like we got ourselves a serial killer. Hopefully we can get a handle on this before the goddamn feds get involved."

The others grunted agreement as their food arrived. They ate in silence for awhile before Mike spoke again. "Any witnesses?"

Jared wiped his mouth with a napkin; shook his head. "No. Last two people to see him alive were his best friend, Masi, at class yesterday afternoon, around four. And then his roommate Alexis, at about nine last night when he went out to 'work his shift,' as she put it. She hooks too, but different area than Milo did. Plus, not sure how reliable she is." At Mike's questioning look, Jared shook his head sadly. "Crack addict. Really pretty girl. Or at least I think she used to be. But she did tell me Milo didn't have any regular Johns or, not any she knew of, and we know the hookers that have been killed so far all usually worked within the same six block radius." Jared paused. "The same six block radius I worked when I was undercover for Vice."

Mike sat down his beer, face grim. "You think this has anything to do with Colantoni, the drugs and money laundering?"

Jensen shook his head. "Naw, Colantoni's too smart to leave a string of dead hookers laying around like that. If he wanted these guys dead, we would never find 'em. Plus, as far as we can tell, none of these guys were into drugs at all. Fairly clean - Milo only had one jay walking incident on his record, the other three were pretty clean too, just minor shit of their records. No connections to Colantoni at all."

Mike frowned. "So just some psychopath with a vendetta against hookers?"

Jared sighed. "Looks like. When are you and Tom off nights? You want in on this, I can make it happen."

Mike shook his head and clapped Chad on the shoulder. "No, that's ok. Think you four boys have it under control. We'll be on nights for awhile, till I can find something to nail that slippery sonofabitch to the wall with."

Chad frowned. "Too bad, Mikey. Think this is gonna be a big case, career making even."

Mike snorted. "I'm too damn old to care about career making cases anymore."

Chad chuckled. "Yeah, yeah, you're so damn old, Mike. What-the-fuck-ever. Listen, Chris and I are gonna head down to the strip club, anyone wanna come?"

No one else did and soon Jared and Jensen were left with Mike and Tom alone in the booth. "So time of death was sometime between nine last night and five this morning when the body was discovered. The body couldn't have been there long then. Not if the sadistic prick tortured him first before killing and then dumping him off," Mike said, features bleak.

Jared nodded. "Yeah. And no one saw a goddamn thing. We're just hoping Steve can give us something concrete to go on. Otherwise we'll be left with our thumbs up our asses while the Feds swoop in and take advantage of our leg work."

Mike threw some bills down on the table and waved to Eric as he and Tom got up to leave, to catch some shut eye before their shift started later that night. "Yeah. God, I hate those arrogant pricks. Listen, Rangers are playing the Pens this Saturday, why don't you two come over?"

Jared nodded his agreement and Jensen smacked at Tom's hand when he ruffled Jensen's hair. "Ok, boys. See you later. Keep us updated on the case," Tom said as they left.

Jensen turned to Jared then, face serious. "You gonna be okay, Jare?" He squeezed his knee again, concern written all over his features.

Jared gave him a small smile and stole a fry off of Jensen's plate. "I will be. Soon as we catch this demented sonofabitch."

Jensen leaned over and kissed Jared quick on the lips. "I know. And we will."  
...

The next day, Morgan called the four of them into his office first thing. He and Jared had met briefly earlier, since Jared was lead detective on this case and they'd made a decision that Jared knew Jensen in particular was not going to be too happy about. Jared leaned against the door once it closed, arms crossed, letting Jensen and Chris take the two seats in front of Morgan's desk. Chad sprawled indolently on the small leather couch against the wall.

"Ok. Padalecki and I think the best course of action, considering the lack of leads we have, the lack of physical evidence, hell, the lack of everything, is that we need to do something fast to try and get something on this psycho. Before he kills again."

Jared tensed, letting his arms fall to the sides. _Here goes nothing_, he thought to himself.

"So Paddy's going back undercover, as a hooker, since he has the most connections and he's done this before." Morgan paused and Jared saw Jensen's jaw clench. _Oh shit_ Jared thought. "So starting tomorrow, we're putting extra patrols out in that area and we're pulling you guys back off of first shift. Welling and Rosey are being pulled off the Colantoni case, too, for the time being. This case is our top priority right now. I don't want those goddamn feds getting their fingers in my pie, understand? Jared starts tomorrow a block up from where the last body was found. None of you are to patrol that area. Jared can handle himself. Understand?" Morgan paused again, lighting up a cigarette and glaring at them. "I don't want his cover being blown. The goddamn media is already making this into a circus, we don't need to add fuel to the fire." He exhaled and sat down behind his desk, started to shuffle papers. "That's it. Get the hell out of here until tonight."

Jared moved away from the door, let Chris and Chad pass. Jensen got up slowly and Jared tried to catch his eye but he brushed past Jared, not even looking at him, face set, jaw tense.

Jared sighed as he followed him out to their desks. This was just what he had been afraid was going to happen.

...

"Jensen, dude, fuck. Wait up," Jared said, practically running up the stairs of their apartment building to catch up with Jensen. Jensen stopped only long enough to unlock their mailbox and pull out the pile of bills and junk mail before opening the inside door and heading straight for the elevator. He hadn't spoken a word to Jared since they'd left the station house and Jared was getting more frantic. He'd _known_ when he'd proposed going back undercover earlier that day to Morgan that it might upset Jensen.

He just hadn't any idea how much, apparently.

Jared caught up just as the elevator doors were starting to close. "Jesus, Jen. I know you're pissed but come on, man. It's our job," Jared said, huffing a little as he adjusted his shoulder holster, which had shifted when he'd had to sprint to catch up to Jensen in the subway station.

Jensen looked at him then, for the first time since going into their meeting with Morgan an hour before. His eyes were a mixture of anger and hurt and something Jared thought might be fear. "Yeah, it's our JOB, Jared. But fuck. It's also your life, man. You're gonna be out there with no back-up, no radio, none of us even close, and some raging lunatic with a penchant for torturing and killing hookers is out there loose. How am I supposed to feel alright with that?"

The elevator doors opened and Jared followed a visibly angry Jensen down the hall to their apartment. Jensen had the door open and had his messenger bag flung on the kitchen counter before Jared could even close the door. He was pacing the living room floor, hands on his hips when Jared came in. "Jensen, come on. You can't let how you feel about me get in the way. This is just a case, alright? Just like any other."

Jensen snorted and stopped pacing. "Yeah, sure. Just like any other. So tell me," he got up in Jared's face, eyes still burning. "There's no personal reasons for you wanting to go back undercover? You don't feel at least partially responsible for what happened to that Milo kid? Look me in the eyes and tell this is just another case, Jared. Because I know damn well it isn't. Not for you and not for me."

Jared felt his own temper start to boil. "Oh fuck you, Jensen. You're making way too big of a deal about this. Jesus, we put our damn lives on the line every damn day we go to work. And now, now you're gonna turn all pussy on me? It's just an undercover assignment. Mike didn't flip his lid when Tom went undercover at Colantoni's club!"

Jensen seethed, mouth set in a thin line. "Mike was there to back him up, asshole. He wasn't out there on the streets alone. He had back up. Which you won't. Jesus, Jared. You're not invincible, okay? I'd just... I'd feel better if you had someone there to watch your back." He sighed and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. Jared threw up his hands.

"Whatever Jensen, I'm twenty-five years old and I managed to take care of myself working in VICE. I don't _need_ a baby-sitter, I don't need someone to take care of me." Jared turned on his heel and stormed down the hallway, slamming the bathroom door. Hopefully a cold shower would help to calm him down.

As he stripped he thought about how he'd known Jensen was going to be upset but god, Jared could take care of himself. He loved Jensen but he wouldn't act like a petulant brat if Jensen was in this situation. Jared got in the shower and started to soap up, hands trembling still with anger. He scrubbed at his hair and tried to calm down, see it from Jensen's point of view. Jared knew Jensen loved him, wanted a future with him and yeah, okay, maybe he would be a little worried about Jensen if he were the one going undercover. But dammit, they were two of the best shots in the precinct and it wasn't like Jared was going out un-armed.

He got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around his waist and sighed. He needed to talk to Jen, reassure him that he could do this by himself, that he'd be alright. But when he made his way out to the living room, all he found was a note from Jensen. "Went to the gym, be back later." No signature, nothing. Jared sighed and called in an order to the Chinese place down the street.

It was gonna be a long day.

...

Five days later and Jensen was still barely talking to Jared. There hadn't been any more murders but there hadn't been any more clues or leads, either. Morgan was getting increasingly agitated and had taken to yelling at everyone and everything, even making them work the weekend, relentless in his drive to catch the 'hooker slasher,' as the media had dubbed him. Jared had spent every night out on the streets with no luck.

He'd also spent the past five nights alone in bed. Jensen had slept on the couch and nothing Jared said or did had made the situation better. Jared was getting sick of it, sick of not being able to talk about the case to Jensen, hash it out like they usually did. Not to mention he wasn't used to sleeping alone after nearly a year of spending every night wrapped up in Jensen in some way. Jared slipped on the pink sweater he'd worn the night he'd met Jensen and made his way out to the living room, where Jensen sat watching some baseball game.

"I'm headed out. Chris on his way over?" Jared asked, picking up his wallet and keys from the counter. His badge went in his pocket next, his snub nose revolver was already in the ankle holster. Jensen didn't answer him and Jared huffed in irritation before going over and standing in front of the TV, blocking Jensen's view. Jensen's forehead wrinkled in agitation and finally, he looked at Jared.

"Trying to watch the game," he muttered and Jared swore under his breath and turned the television off. He ignored Jensen's outraged 'hey' and turned back to face him, arms crossed.

"How long you gonna ignore me, Jen?" Jared asked.

Jensen shrugged and picked at the throw pillow on his right. "How long you gonna be a stupid and stubborn ass, Jared?" He stood up and went into the kitchen and Jared followed.

"I'm not being an 'ass,' Jensen, I'm doing my goddamn job, okay? Just... I can't be like this any more with you. Come on, give it a rest," Jared sighed, ran a hand through his hair. "I can't stand not sleeping with you, Jensen."

Jensen got a bottle of water out of the fridge and turned to face Jared. "Whatever Jared. You've lived without getting fucked on a regular basis before, you'll live through it now."

Before Jared had a chance to tell Jensen that dammit, it wasn't even the _sex_ he missed, the buzzer rang. Jensen pushed past Jared to answer the intercom. Chris was waiting downstairs, picking Jen up for their shift. Jensen grabbed his jacket from where it had been laying on the back of the couch, turned to go. He paused at the door and walked back over to Jared. Kissed him quick on the lips, without meeting his eyes.

"Be careful, Jared," Jensen murmured, shrugging into his jacket and slamming the door after himself.

Jared sighed and sat down one of the bar stools in the kitchen. He paused there a few minutes to collect himself before getting up and heading out himself, locking the door behind him. He and Jensen were going to have a talk later after their shifts whether Jensen liked it or not.  
...

Hours later, Jared was at his 'corner,' about ready to give up for the night. He hadn't found anything out that was even remotely useful to him or the investigation. He was about to head over to Kim, his pimp, when a sleek silver BMW pulled up to the curb beside him. He plastered what he called his 'hooker face' on - half lidded eyes and a slight pout to his lips - and swaggered over to the car, leaning one hand on the roof as he bent down to look inside the passenger window. There was a nicely dressed man inside, maybe mid to late thirties, Rolex on his wrist.

"How much?" He asked, never looking Jared in the eye.

Jared licked his lips. "Depends on what you're in the mood for tonight. I'd tell you my ass doesn't come cheap but," he paused and ran a hand over the car window's edge. "I'd say by the looks of it, you can afford it."

The man finally turned to face Jared and Jared instantly recognized him. He was a senatorial candidate, one whose face was plastered all over buses and the television. Jared tried to not let his surprise show. "I want an hour. I'll pay you three times your going rate, plus more if we can arrange a standing date and arrange for your discretion. I used to have an arrangement with another young man from this area... a boy named Milo." His eyes flashed with some emotion then and Jared wasn't sure what to say or do. But as soon as it had come, it was gone. "But that's in the past. So I'm in need of new... companionship. A man... in my position can't afford for his extracurricular activities to become public knowledge, understand?"

Jared nodded, unsure of how to get out of this one, not actually out to prostitute himself. This assignment was entirely different from his last one, where he'd actually make the deals then take the Johns back to his room and arrest them for solicitation and in some cases, possession. No, this time he was only out for information and he and the department were both willing to let the Johns go, hoping instead to catch whoever was out slicing and dicing hookers. So far, Jared had been lucky and had managed to be too pricey for any of the Johns that had approached him to afford him.

This one though? He could buy and sell Jared in a heartbeat. He swallowed before answering the man waiting impatiently in the car. Jared racked his brain, trying to remember his name. It finally hit him as the man unlocked the doors. "I understand completely, Mister Pasdar."

He opened up the passenger door and started to slide in to sit on the opulent gray leather seat, heart in his throat, unsure of how he'd get out of this when a strong hand grabbed his arm and he was yanked violently back on to the sidewalk. "What the-" he started but then stopped when he got a good look at who had a hold of him.

Pasdar, obviously not willing to be recognized, sped off, tires squealing as Jared faced down a pissed off and red faced Jensen. Jensen's chest was heaving and his fists were clenched. Jared pulled a reluctant Jensen over to an alley that was on the side of a vacant building. Hopefully Kim wouldn't be able to see them.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Jensen? You're gonna fucking blow my cover!" He hissed, not wanting his voice to travel. Jensen shook Jared's hand off his arm and glared at him.

"What the fuck am I doing? What the fuck are _you_ doing, Jared? You were going to get in that guy's car and.. and what? FUCK HIM?" Jensen's voice was raised, sure to carry out into the street were Kim was. Jared took a step closer.

"Keep your voice down, dammit. And what the hell else was I supposed to do? I can't compromise the investigation, Jensen. Dammit, you know this!" Jared ran a hand through his artfully tousled hair in exasperation.

Jensen snorted out an entirely humorless laugh. "Yeah, 'compromise the investigation.' What-the-fuck-ever, Jared. This whole undercover gig is bullshit and not only that? It's dangerous. Unnecessary danger. You haven't found out anything useful doing this, except maybe some new tricks for the next time when you're blowing me." Jensen paused and smirked, affecting a laid back stance but his eyes were anything but. "Hey, bet that's where you learned how to suck cock like a pro anyway. I mean, it's not like you're _new_ to this or anything, are ya, Jare?"

Jared bit his lip and clenched his hand, wanting nothing more than to punch Jensen right in his goddamn pretty mouth. "Shut the fuck up, Jensen. Just because me being undercover bothers you doesn't mean you get to be a goddamn prick to me. This isn't anything personal, neither was my other undercover assignment. It's work, Jensen. I can separate the two. Unlike you, apparently."

Jensen frowned, stepping forward and getting in Jared's personal space. "You're my partner, Jared. And goddamit, I don't want you out here alone on the streets doing this right now!"

Jared stood up to his full height and looked down at Jensen. "And you're mine, Jensen. But I'm a grown man and can take of myself. We've been over this. Drop it."

Jensen opened his mouth to say something else but was interrupted when someone at the opening of the alley cleared their throat. Jared turned to look and felt his stomach fall when he saw Kim standing there.

"Problem Jared?" he asked, hand casually resting on the handle of the .45 he carried in his waist band, snakeskin boots braced apart on the concrete. Jared stepped back until there was at least three feet between him and Jensen.

"No, Kim. Sorry. I, uh, my, uh... _friend_ um..." Jared tried to explain but was flustered and out of sorts. Jensen rolled his eyes at being called Jared's friend.

Kim held up a hand, a clear signal for silence and then spoke. "Listen, I don't care what kind of domestic troubles you have going on. Just don't bring them around on my watch, understand?" He waited for Jared's nod before continuing. "It's getting late and tonight's been dead anyway. Take your boyfriend home, work out your troubles, have some sex just for the sake of having it and then come back tomorrow - _sans_ your 'friend,' understand?"

Jared nodded, swallowing at how easily this could've all gone south.

"Good. Now get," Kim said before turning and heading back the way he came, brown leather coat once again covering his pearl handled pistol. Jared could see Jensen out of the corner of his eye, body practically vibrating with tension. "Let's go home. Subway station's three blocks over."

Jared didn't wait for Jensen to answer him or follow, just started walking. He heard him start moving a few seconds later, his pace fast until he was caught up to Jared. They strode side by side to the subway, arms brushing. The more Jared thought about everything, the angrier he got. He loved Jensen, more than anything, but right then? He wanted nothing more than to throttle him.

When they made it down into the subway station, Jared pulled out his wallet to dig out his Metro Card before swiping it and walking through the turnstile. He heard Jensen behind him do the same and they stood shoulder to shoulder on the platform until a train came screeching to a halt in front of them five minutes later.

The ride to the subway station a few blocks from their apartment building was completely silent. They stood side by side in the crowded car, avoiding each other's eyes the entire twenty minute ride home. Jensen was off the train first, Jared two steps behind him as they made their way up to the street and then to their building. Jensen dug out his keys and opened the front door, holding it open for Jared before they made their way through the lobby and onto the elevator.

Neither spoke a word even after the door to their apartment was closed. Jensen just pushed Jared against the wall, attacking his mouth, touch brutal and rough. Jared pushed back against him, shoving him into the opposite wall as he sucked and licked at Jensen's mouth, the hot burn of anger in his blood turning to the hot rush of arousal. Jensen moaned and started tugging at Jared's clothes. Jared pulled back enough to rip Jensen away from the wall and push him back against it. Jensen licked his lips as Jared stripped naked for him right there in the dimly lit entranceway. Jared just smiled wickedly and roughly grabbed Jensen's shoulders, spinning him around until his face was mashed against the wall.

"What the fuck are you doin,' Jared?" He hissed, anger still evident in his voice.

Jared crowded against him, let his warmth seep through the thin tee shirt and denim Jensen wore. "Fucking you, Jensen. Thought it was obvious."

Jensen's hands scrambled against the plaster of the wall a little as Jared bit down on Jensen's sweaty nape, hands busy divesting Jensen of his jeans and boxer shorts. Jared trailed his hands softly down the curve of Jensen's ass before bending down and parting him. Jared placed a kiss at the base of Jensen's spine and then licked down the dark crease, tongue stopping to circle his entrance. Jensen started to shudder and Jared smiled to himself, tongue working Jensen open slowly, driving him mad with every lick and swirl of Jared's tongue.

Jensen started to curse, panting harshly with each word. Then he started to beg, and still Jared wouldn't touch his cock, just kept fucking Jensen open with his tongue. Jared slowly circled the base of his own cock with his thumb and forefinger when Jensen keened and pressed back into Jared's mouth. Jared placed one last lingering kiss to Jensen's saliva slick entrance before standing, knees protesting after being on the hard floor for so long.

Jared placed a few soft kisses to Jensen's freckled neck as he slid two fingers inside of Jensen, replacing his tongue. Jensen hissed out a breath and then pushed back into the stretch and burn, eager to take all of Jared that he could. Jared panted into the damp skin of Jensen's shoulder and stretched him, fingers not as gentle as they could be.

Jensen turned his head after a few moments and caught Jared's gaze. "That's enough, Jare. Fuck me already, alright?" His words were passion-slurred and rough. Jared pulled his fingers free with a slick pop and then spit on his palm, circling his own cock, not going to take the time to stop and find lube. Jared wanted Jensen to feel this, feel _him_ for days afterward. If this is what it took to get through to Jensen, so be it.

Jared smacked Jensen's ass once, hard, leaving a bright red hand print on the pale skin of Jensen's ass. Lining himself up, Jared took hold of Jensen's hips and just pushed in, not giving him any time to adjust. Fucked all the way in until his hips were flush against Jensen's gorgeous ass. Jensen was panting, face smashed against the wall, fingers curled against the white paint. Jared didn't pause, just started fucking, set a hard, pounding rhythm. He grunted, teeth set as he gripped Jensen's hips hard, hard enough to bruise.

It didn't take long for the orgasm to start gathering at the base of Jared's spine, chasing along his nerve endings. He reached around to fist Jensen's cock, hand spreading the leaking pre-come down the shaft as he stroked. It only took a few rough, tight strokes for Jensen to come, spurting hot over Jared's hand and against the wall, voice crying out wordlessly.

Jared bit his lip and pulled Jensen's hips back into him with every stroke, one hand still slick with Jensen's spunk. He was breathing harshly and Jensen was panting, pressed into the wall, face flushed with his pleasure. He opened one eye and looked back at Jared and started encouraging Jared, one hand reaching back to grab at Jared's flexing hip, his lips forming the dirtiest filth Jared had ever heard, goading Jared into coming inside of his ass and that was it, that was all it took for Jared to come, hard and deep inside of Jensen.

He collapsed against him, his chest pressing against the damp cotton of Jensen's tee shirt, the only article of clothing he was still wearing. It took a few minutes for sense to return and when it did, Jared straightened, anger still a low level buzz in his veins, remembering the fight he and Jensen had had. The fight that could've very well compromised the entire investigation.

All because Jensen didn't have faith in him, in his abilities as a cop.

Jared pulled out, wincing a bit as he did so and gathered his clothes up. He purposely avoided looking at Jensen, spread and open against the wall, still flushed with his orgasm.

"I'm taking a shower then turning in," he said, voice flat. He noticed out of the corner of his eye when he turned how Jensen's shoulders slumped a bit at Jared's words. He sighed and stalked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

He threw his clothes on the floor and crawled in the shower, keeping the water icy cold. He braced his arms against the tile wall under the shower head and cursed, low.

It was going to be a long damn night.

...

Jensen took copies of all the case files home with him the next evening. Bethany was more than happy to give him all the copies he asked for. All he had to do was pass her number along to Lafferty. He chuckled dryly at the thought of sweet little Bethany hooking up with James Lafferty as he sat his messenger bag down on the counter between the kitchen and living room.

Jensen had taken off early, the night going nowhere fast. He'd left Chris sitting at O'Malley's nursing three fingers of whiskey. Flopping down on the couch with the case files in one hand and a cold beer in the other, Jensen kicked off his shoes and grabbed the remote, turned on the first ball game he came across.

He cracked open the beer and sat back with a sigh as he opened the folder containing all the details about the first victim, a young girl named Joanna Krupa who bounced between being a cocktail waitress and hooking to support her drug habit. He sighed, missing Jared and knowing they'd have to have a talk about what had happened last night when he got in.

He glanced at the clock and realized Jared wouldn't be home for hours.

"Might as well get some work done," he mumbled to the empty room as the Yankees scored a run in the background.

Two hours later, Jensen had read through the files twice. Not to mention the mountain of notes he had compiled by then. He was sitting on the floor, work spread over the coffee table as he ran his hands through his short-cropped hair.

"Gotta be a connection, gotta be something I'm missing," he murmured, wracking his brain, trying to find what he'd missed.

Then his eyes fell on Milo's wrap sheet. He dug through the other folders on a hunch and pulled out the first three vic's wrap sheets as well.

He read them all, checked the dates twice and then smiled.

"Bingo," he said aloud to the quiet apartment.

...

A few hours later, Jared tried to sneak into the apartment as quietly as possible. He and Jensen hadn't spoken at all since the incident in the hall the night before, Jensen even going so far as to sleep on the couch. They'd both left for their respective shifts around the same time, without even an 'I love you' or a 'be safe' passing either of their lips.

Jared knew that even despite all of that, Jensen would be waiting up for him. He always did, even if he didn't agree with or support Jared's current assignment. Jared knew he'd be frantic tonight, since he was hours late getting in.

Hours he'd spent in the E.R., courtesy of Kim. Kim, who had recognized Jensen as a cop and had confronted Jared about it. Jared had tried to deny he knew Jensen and that Jensen was a cop but Kim wasn't stupid, hadn't gotten to be who he was by being that or naive. Thankfully, Kim had no idea Jared was a cop as well or Jensen might be getting a call to I.D. his body down at the morgue.

Instead, all Jared had gotten was a fat lip and ten stitches above his right eye. Kim had smacked him around a bit, splitting the skin above his eye open with his pearl handed cane. He had assumed Jared was fucking Jensen for protection and Jared hadn't tried to dissuade him of that notion. He had shut up and taken his beating and then scraped himself up off the pavement once Kim was done. Once he'd done that, he'd headed down to the E.R. at Saint Lucy's where Dr. McCoy knew him and wouldn't say anything to anyone about his injuries.

He limped into the living room, ribs a bit sore from where Kim had kicked them with his snake skin boots - Sandy had assured him they weren't broken, just bruised and definitely going to hurt like a bitch for a week or so. Jensen was sitting on the couch, lights out, TV painting Jensen's skin a pale blue as some infomercial played soundlessly on the screen. Jensen's fingers were laced loosely around the neck of a bottle of Bud and he was dressed for bed in a tee shirt and a pair of wash-worn boxers.

He turned to look at Jared and his face went from irritated to concerned in about a half a second. Jensen stood up and made his way over to stand in front of Jared, hands hovering about an inch or so above Jared's skin, as if he was unsure if his touch would be welcome or not.

"What happened, Jared?" Jensen breathed, eyes shining with worry.

Jared shrugged and tried to force a smile but his injured lip didn't want to cooperate. Jensen cupped his face and ran gentle fingers right below the row of tiny black stitches. "Nothing, Jen. Don't worry."

Jared could see the anger rising in Jensen as his cheeks flushed and his eyes hardened. He pulled away and crossed his arms over the Longhorns logo emblazoned on his tee shirt. "Nothing, my ass Jared. What the fuck happened tonight?"

Jared sat down heavily on the couch and started flipping through the channels as he tried to think of the best way to tell Jensen what had transpired. He finally decided coming straight out with it was best.

"My pimp knocked me around a bit. He knew you were a cop and wanted to make sure I was going to keep my nose clean. That's all. Just a few cuts and scrapes, Jen. Nothing to get worked up over." Jared turned his attention back to the episode of Spongebob that was now playing on the set and realized it was almost six am, way later than he'd originally thought it was. The horizon was already starting to lighten in the east, turning a bright shade of pink as he watched and Jared rubbed the bridge of his nose as Jensen started to pace. He had a headache and as Jensen stopped in front of him, Jared knew it was just going to get worse.

"Your pimp knocked you around and it's nothing to get worked up over? _Bullshit, Jared!_ I fucking knew something like this was going to happened. What if he'd had a knife or a gun? Christ, you could be dead right now! Do you know how fucking lucky you got tonight, Jare?"

Jared sighed and turned off the TV. "Every night I come home is a lucky night, Jen."

Jensen huffed and started pacing again, running his hands through his cropped hair. Jared watched him, temples throbbing. Jensen stopped once again in front of Jared and frowned. "I'm going to Morgan this morning."

Jared stood up, following after Jensen as Jensen made his way into their bedroom, throwing drawers open and digging out clean clothes. Jared stood in the doorway, at a loss as to how to stop Jensen. His head hurt, as did his body and he was so goddamn tired.

"Jensen, come on. Morgan's not gonna do anything. This is my assignment, I knew the risks when I took it and I'm not going to stop now, alright? Come on Jen, let's just go to bed."

Jensen slammed the top drawer shut and glared at Jared. "No. I'm going down to the station to talk to Morgan. This is getting ridiculous." He shoved past where Jared stood in the doorway and a few minutes later, Jared heard the front door slam shut behind Jensen. He sighed, too tired to go after him, then stripped off his clothes and took a few aspirin before flopping facedown onto their bed.

He'd deal with Jensen later.

...

Jensen slammed into the station house, anger burning hot under his skin. He spied Morgan almost immediately and he didn't think, didn't even consider what might happen, just stalked over to him.

"Jared got fucking beat to hell last night, Morgan," he hissed. Morgan's eyes widened a bit but he didn't say anything. Just sort of leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest.

Jensen started to seethe. He jabbed a finger into Morgan's chest. Morgan's face instantly went from incredulous to angry.

"He obviously can't do this without back-up, the back-up you've been denying him all along on this bullshit assignment!" Jensen was shouting now and he was distantly aware that a crowd was gathering.

Morgan straightened up to his full height and got in Jensen's face.

"Listen, son, and listen good because I am only going to say this once. Jared is a cop in my precinct, not some toddler in diapers I'm supposed to be babysitting. He is a grown man and I'm sick and tired of going around and around about this with you. He's doing this and he's doing this my way because I say so. You're too close to this situation, too involved. Around here, my word is gospel, got me Ackles? So you need to step back and go somewhere and cool down before something happens we'll both regret."

Jensen's vision went red with fury.

"Who the fuck do you think you are to put Jared's life in danger for no good reason, huh?" Jensen yelled, shoving Morgan back a pace with both hands.

Morgan went rigid and grabbed Jensen, turning around and slamming him into the wall.

"Shut your fucking mouth right now, you hear me? This is it, Ackles. I have fucking had it with your bull and your fucking attitude. Hand in your badge and your gun. You're suspended for a month, no pay."

He stepped back, straightened his shirt and turned to face the crowd gathered. "Get back to work, all of you. Show's over." He spared one last glance at Jensen before he made his way to his office, the mass of cops parting before him like the Red Sea.

Jensen slumped against the wall and closed his eyes.

_Fuck_, he thought.

...

When Jared woke up hours later, the apartment was still silent and Jensen's side of the bed hadn't been slept in. He took a shower to try and get rid of the cobwebs that were cluttering his brain, throwing on an academy tee shirt and some jeans. He grabbed his wallet, badge, gun and keys, and took off for the station house.

When he got there, almost an hour later, he was armed with a mocha latte from Starbucks and a hot ham and cheese sandwich from O'Malley's. Chad was sitting at the desk across from Jared's, feet up, as he shot paper wads into the waste basket. Chad smirked when he caught sight of Jared and started to chuckle. Jared was instantly wary.

Chad being in that kind of a mood never boded well. For anyone.

"What the fuck is with you Mayhem?" Jared asked as he sat down, turning on his computer monitor.

Chad chuckled before yanking his feet off the desk and leaning forward, arms now braced against the scarred wood.

"You fucking missed it, Jay. Missed it ALL. Dude, seriously. Best free show I've been to in a while and ya know, I've been in the Army so... I've seen some doozies." Chad winked and sat back, grinning around a wad of pink gum.

Jared sighed. Started flipping through the huge pile of paperwork and reports laying around his desktop. "Spill it, Chad. I'm not in the mood, okay?"

Chad continued to smirk. "Your boy, Jay. Came in here this morning, first thing, all fired up. Jumped all over Morgan's ass in the fuckin' _hallway_, all up in arms because you got a black eye last night. It was kinda cute, in a nauseating way. He's worried about you, Jared! Poor widdle fake-hooker Jared, out there on the tough mean streets by himself."

Jared dropped the files he'd been holding onto his desk. "Jensen jumped Morgan in the hallway? Chad, what the fuck happened."

It wasn't a request.

Chad's smirk grew. "Well, ole Jeffrey Dean wasn't too happy about his orders and assignments being questioned. Yells at your boy that he's too involved, too close to the situation, that he needs to take a step back before they both do something they'll regret." Chad paused before continuing, obviously relishing every little detail. "'You can't control everything, Jensen,' he said and then Jensen gets all up in his face and asks Morgan who the fuck he thinks he is to put your life in danger for no good reason and Morgan? Morgan fucking FLIPS, man! Shoves Jensen against the wall and tells him to shut his fucking mouth. And that he's suspended, to hand in his badge and gun. Think Morgan said it was for a month, at least. Man, I have never seen him so pissed before."

Jared stood, feeling shaky. "Where's Jensen? Chad, did he leave?"

Chad shrugged. "Think he's getting some stuff out of the locker room. I don't know, you're his keeper, man, not me." He went back to playing his one man game of paper wad basketball and Jared tore out into the hallway, heading for the locker room.

Jensen was standing in front of his open locker, throwing clothes and toiletries into a duffel, face set in a scowl. Jared walked up to him grabbing him by the shoulder and spinning him around.

"What in the fucking hell were you thinking Jensen?" Jared crowded him against his locker and Jensen wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Not now, Jared."

Jared could feel himself breathing heavily, nostrils flaring. "Yes, now, Jensen. Right now, right here. You got fucking suspended for a MONTH. What the fuck did you think you were going to accomplish by flipping out on Morgan like that huh?"

Jensen huffed and pushed at Jared's chest until he was about a foot away from Jensen. "I thought he might come to his senses and either get you off the damn streets or get you some fucking back-up. 'Cause you know what, Jare? Next time, I might be getting the call to come and fucking pick your personal effects up because your goddamn heroic attitude got your dumb ass killed."

Jared snorted and rolled his eyes. "No, Jensen. It won't. God, I'm going to tell you this one last time. I am an adult, a grown man and I can take care of myself. I've been doing so for a long damn time now, long before you came into the picture." Jared paused and Jensen eyed him warily. "I'm sure I can do it again if you aren't around again."

He turned to leave, ignoring Jensen's calls to stop and wait. He angrily shoved his sunglasses up his nose as he slammed out of the station house, bright summer sun blinding him as he started walking.

...

Later that evening, as Jared was dressing to go back out for his shift, Jensen came and stood in the doorway of their bedroom.

"Jare..." he started, eyes soft, posture slumped. Jared dabbed some of the concealer Sandy had given him at the E.R. last night around his eye, trying to cover the purpling bruise. He met Jensen's gaze in the mirror and shook his head.

"No, Jensen. Just don't. I'm going and that's all there is to it."

Jensen sighed and took a step into the room before he stopped again.

"Jare, listen to me. I've been studying the case files, okay? There's a pattern, a definite one. Milo was picked up for jaywalking two weeks before his death. The other three were all fined or brought in for something right before they died, too." He made his way over to stand right by Jared. He grabbed his arm and swung him around to look at him.

"It's someone in the department, Jared. I'm almost positive. It's the only thing that makes sense. That's why we haven't been able to dig anything up since Milo's death. Because the bastard who is doing this is laying low, because he knows we're working overtime trying to bring him in, alright? Jare, come on, man, you gotta believe me."

Jared sighed and wrapped his hands around Jensen's biceps. "I do, Jensen. But that is all the more reason for me to be out there. If this guy slips up, I wanna be there to catch him. To make sure no one else dies, alright?"

Jensen sighed and pulled out of Jared's grasp. "Yeah. Whatever."

Two minutes later, Jared was heading out the door for the night, leaving a sullen and silent Jensen sitting on their couch, watching another baseball game on TV.

...

Two hours later, Jared was working his corner. It had been a slow night, fairly uneventful. Jared was thankful that Kim seemed content to pester his other hookers instead of him. He figured Kim must think the beating he took the night before knocked some sense in him.

He was standing on what he had come to think of as his territory, entirely alone, when he felt like he was being watched. Slowly turning, Jared scanned the shadows but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. He tried to shrug it off, figured Jensen's paranoia was rubbing off on him. Jared put his head down and then looked behind him, almost certain he had heard footsteps. He didn't see anything so he turned back around and that was when he was struck.

He felt his knees slam into the concrete and then his vision slowly went to black, much like an old television set being turned off, and then... nothing.

...

When he came to, his head was pounding and he couldn't move his hands or feet; realized after a moment he was bound to an uncomfortable metal chair. He slowly opened his eyes and even the dim light of wherever he was being held at stabbed at them like a thousand knives. He hissed in a pained breath and tried to focus, head turning slowly as he took in his surroundings. It was dark and dank and almost empty. It looked like it was an abandoned warehouse and Jared had a fleeting though that whoever was doing this couldn't be more clichéd if they tried.

There were windows high up, maybe twenty, thirty feet. Jared could tell it was still dark out, even through the caked on filth covering the panes of glass. There were a few rows of fluorescent lights above him, buzzing and flickering. He could hear scurrying a few feet behind him and shuddered, trying not to think of what had to be rats and what they might have fed on in the past.

He brought his focus back to the person standing in front of him, staring at their feet and slowly looking up until his eyes widened in surprise, throat closing in shock. He felt tears sting his eyes, ones that had nothing to do with the growing knot on the back of his head and everything to do with the burn of betrayal that was slowly starting to spread through his chest and stomach right at that moment.

Chad stood before him, steel knife glinting in his hand, light flickering off the blade.

"C-c-chad?" he stuttered out, voice low, full of hurt.

Chad smirked, a smirk Jared had come to know so well over the year they'd been partners. He felt like throwing up.

"Hey Jare. Ya know, maybe your boy was right. Maybe you _should_ have had some back-up out there. You were entirely too easy to knock out and bring back here. I mean, even Milo... well, Milo put up a bit of a fight. Surprising, ya know, how much fight those whores have in them."

Jared's head was reeling. "Chad, I don't understand..."

Chad laughed then, a humorless sound. "Come on, Jared. I know you're smarter than this." He pointed to his own chest with the knife, tip snagging on his wife beater. "I'm the killer, dude. I'm the one we've been looking for, alright? Except... I haven't been so easy to find, have I? Of course, you know, that's probably because all those damn idiots at work are too stupid to realize the killer is one of their own. Why would an upstanding cop go around slicing and dicing prostitutes?"

Jared was biting his lip, the metallic taste of his own blood filling his mouth. _Keep him talking,_ he thought to himself. _Just keep him talking, Jared._

"I don't understand why, Chad... "

Chad started to pace, smirk firmly in place. "Did I ever tell you about how I grew up Jared?"

Jared shook his head, pulling on his bindings. Chad saw him and 'tsked,' shaking his head. "Don't even try it, Jared. You're here until I say otherwise. Now, answer the question. Did I ever tell you about my childhood?"

Jared swallowed audibly and shook his head no, pulse starting to roar in his ears.

"When I was twelve, my mother was stabbed to death in front of me. Gutted from her sternum to her cunt, bled out five feet from where I'd been watching Scooby Doo. Seeing something like that does something to a kid, Jared." Jared felt his stomach twist at the crazy look in Chad's eyes. "So for the next six years, I'm shuffled from foster home to foster home, from one crappy family who doesn't want me to another." He paused again and Jared got the impression Chad was drawing the story out for the maximum shock potential.

"Chad... I had no idea. I mean, I knew you were in the Army..." Chad chuckled then, cutting him off.

"Whatever, Jared. You don't have to try and keep me talking. I mean, hell, I kind of like you. Even if you are a bit too friendly with these whores. Least I can do is tell you what drove me to do all this." He ran the tip of his knife down the exposed skin of Jared's arm, the knife Jared knew he'd had from his days in the Army, one Jared has seen Chad carry on a daily basis for a year now and wanted to kick himself for not putting two and two together sooner. "It's a pity I'm going to have to kill you, man. I really did enjoy having you as a partner."

...

Jensen was brooding, six pack cooling in the fridge as he watched the Yankees blow whoever they were playing out of the water. His mind was not on the flickering TV, though. It was on Jared, out there alone. He sighed and took another pull of his beer and thought about going out, watching Jared. Knew if he did it might end everything between them, knowing Jared would more than likely view it as a breach of trust.

Jensen thought if Jared was safe, even if he kicked him out of their apartment, his life, it'd be worth it. Anything to keep him safe. Decision made, he got up off of the couch, putting his empty down on the coffee table and sighed, cracking his back. Jensen was going to go down there, just to reassure himself that Jared was okay.

Maybe it was partially to reassure himself that the feeling in the pit of his gut was just because of the confrontation between him and Morgan that morning. Then, later, the fight he had had with Jared. He rubbed his hand absently across his stomach, trying to push away the image of Jared in danger, hurt or... worse.

He was heading to the bathroom to take a piss and wash his hands before leaving when his cell rang, vibrating against the counter separating the kitchen and living room. He made his way over and picked it up, recognized the medical examiner's name and number and answered.

"Hey, Steve, what's up?" Jensen said, heading towards the fridge to grab another beer while he shot the shit with Steve, figuring he had time to drink it before he went down to find Jared.

"Hey, Jensen, listen. I managed to identify the murder weapon." Steve didn't have to specify which murder weapon. Jensen knew.

Jensen immediately stopped, stock-still. "Steve... how... Tell me everything you know."

Steve let out a breath and then Jensen could hear papers rustling on the other end. "Okay, it's an SOG knife, model called the Fusion Jungle Primitive knife. Real nasty looking thing, used for hunting mostly. Blade is about nine and a half inches long, it's black, made of stainless steel…"

Jensen knew Steve said more but he couldn't hear him above the roaring in his ears. He'd seen a knife like that before, had seen it every day for as long as Chad had been working in the same precinct.

He started shake as he realized the implications of what Steve had just told him. He had had his suspicions that it was someone in the precinct but... His stomach rolled at what it meant. Chad was the killer. Chad, Jared's partner, was the killer.

Chad knew Jared's every move because they were partners and he was working the same damn case, privy to all the case notes and briefings, including who was working undercover and where. He interrupted Steve's diatribe about how his friend at the Jeffersonian Institute had helped him identify the weapon, what Jensen usually referred to as Steve's 'geek-glee' evident in his voice. "Steve, man, where are you? I need you to give me everything you have on the murder weapon, okay?"

Steve answered immediately, tone concerned and serious. "I'm at the ME's office. Jensen, what is it man? What's wrong?"

Jensen's hands were shaking as he grabbed his keys and wallet, cursing his own damn stupidity for not having a damn gun when he needed it most.

"I know who the killer is. And he knows where Jared is. Meet me right inside the station house in about ten minutes or so."

He slapped his cell shut and jogged down the hallway, shoving open the door to the stairwell.

_Oh, God,_ he thought to himself as his feet carried him down the four flights to the ground floor. _Please don't let me be too late, please. I can't lose him._  
...

Chad circled around Jared and he tried to track him, head still woozy as Chad paced and talked, features fading in and out in the dim light.

"See, the professionals told me I had post-traumatic stress and all these other long-winded medical terms and jargon." He stopped right in front of Jared and bent down, his breath hot and slightly sour in Jared's face. "What it boils down to is, seeing my mother gutted like a fish in front of me royally fucked me up. For life. I have all this... rage, all the time, in my gut, bubbling under my skin. And, a few months ago, I found out the only way I can make it go away, is to kill whores just like my mother. My mother was a whore, Jared, and she deserved to die. Just like your little friend Milo and all the other ones.

"Joanna was the first." Chad paused and ran the tip of the knife thoughtfully down his cheek, demented smile on his face as he rambled. "I actually cared about her, Jared, ya know? Or, well, I thought I did. Maybe it was just all the sex. She was a pretty little thing… met her at this bar down in the Village. Thought she was a nice girl but she was just a WHORE like all the others. Found her in an alley one night, blowing some guy for a few bucks so she could get high." He bent down and winked at Jared. "So she had to go."

Chad stepped back again and smiled, eyes wild and a bit crazy. "She was just like you, Jared. So I'm gonna have to eliminate you. Such a whore for Jensen, aren't you?" He 'tsked' again and ran the serrated edge of the knife against Jared's bicep, the sharp blade slicing easily through the thin fabric, snagging skin. Jared winced as the blade cut into him, blood welling and rolling in rivulets down his arm, staining his sweater crimson.

Jared watched Chad as he started to circle him again, mind frantic, trying to think of ways to convince a madman to let him go or, Jared inwardly laughed, turn himself in.

"Chad, man, come on. I'm not... I'm not like them, okay? You know me. Chad, man, come on! We're buddies, friends! We can... " Chad's sinister laughter cut him off as he came back into Jared's sight, knife edge wet with Jared's blood.

"How could I ever be friends with a _whore_??!?" Chad spat out, eyes wide, edges white. Jared realized as Chad advanced again, knife gleaming, that this was it. There was no way out, he was done for.

"I've been waiting for this, Jared, waiting to take you out. Can't have anyone thinking **I** was the one you were after. Watching you and Jensen self destruct was just a bonus. God, did I enjoy that." Chad grabbed Jared's hair roughly, yanking his head back and Jared bit back a whimper, biting through his lip, the taste of copper flooding his mouth. Chad's rage-fueled gaze met his and Jared blinked back tears. Of pain and regret, regret that the last words he had said to Jensen were in anger. That he would never get the chance to make things right, to admit that Jensen had been right all along, to tell Jensen he loved him one last time.

Chad smirked as he cut diagonally across Jared's chest, blood spilling down across his torso. Jared's teeth were cutting into his lip, the sharp iron tang of blood still heavy on his tongue as he resolutely ignored Chad's ranting, the madman cutting into Jared's torso over and over, blood flowing more freely the longer he went on.

The cuts became deeper and deeper, with Jared losing all sense of how long he'd been there, Chad raving at him, the knife a sharp pain as it bit into his flesh, turning it into ribbons.

...

Jensen hailed a cab outside of their apartment building, giving the cabbie the address of the station house as he slid in, frantically dialing Mike's number, praying he wouldn't be in one of his moods. He desperately needed Mike to be serious for once.

Mike answered on the second ring, voice mellow and low. "Yo, Ackles. How's your little vaca treating you? Man, I can't believe you busted Morgan's balls like that in front of _everyone_-"

Jensen cut him off, not in the mood for bullshit. "I don't have the time right now, Rosenbaum. Listen, where are you and Tom?"

Mike must have recognized the thread of panic lacing Jensen's voice because he answered right away, obviously done with fucking around with him. "About two blocks from your boy. Why? Jensen, dude, what's up?"

Jensen exhaled the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and threw money at the cabbie when he pulled to a stop in front of the station house. "Do me a favor, drive past, make sure he's okay." When Rosenbaum started to protest, sputtering about how Jared would kill him, Jensen cut him off again. "I don't give a flying FUCK, okay? Just do it."

Jensen jogged up the steps, slammed inside and practically ran to where Steve was waiting. Steve handed him the sheaf of papers as Tom and Mike bickered good naturedly in Jensen's ear, making their way to Jared's corner. Jensen breathlessly thanked Steve and then took off again, eyes scanning the pages as he made his way to his desk, pulling out the notes he'd made on the case.

He eyed Chad's desk and his computer, all his files sitting in messy piles as Mike bitched about traffic in Manhattan.

"Rosenbaum, god, just FUCKING GET THERE OKAY?" Jensen realized he was screaming and knew he had to have scared Mike, because Mike didn't say anything, just shut up and drove. Tom's voice was a low murmur in the background, asking what was up.

Jensen silently said fuck it as he made his way over to Chad's desk, starting to go through the files spread haphazardly over the scarred wood surface. He inhaled as he found a file with Milo's name on it, and the other three victims. He scanned the contents and the feeling of dread spread from his stomach to his chest.

Chad had been the arresting officer for all four victims.

"Goddamit," Jensen muttered, just as Mike bit off an expletive in his ear. "What? Rosenbaum... what is it?"

He heard doors opening and footsteps and then Mike's voice, suddenly full of panic and dread. "He's... he's not here, Jensen. There's just... there's blood, man. Lots of it."

Jensen felt the blood drain from his face and he sat down heavily on Chad's chair. He put his head in his hands and bit back a sob. He had to hold it together, for Jared. Jared needed him. Jensen needed to figure out where the hell Chad had taken him and fast.

"Rosenbaum, listen," he said, talking over Mike and Tom's agitated chatter. "I need to talk to Morgan."

Mike sighed. "Alright, alright. We're coming in to the station. Tommy just called it in, now we just have to wait for the techies to come out to collect evidence."

Jensen shuddered, tried to not think of Jared reduced to nothing but bags and files, evidence and reports, tagged and boxed. He wouldn't let it end like that, couldn't.

"Okay, okay but hurry. We don't have much time."

Jensen closed his phone and slowly made his way over to Jared's desk, sitting down on his chair, the damning evidence against Chad clutched tightly in his fist. He picked up the framed picture Jared had of the two of them at the precinct Christmas party the year before and bit back the bile that rose in his throat.

"I'm gonna kick your ass when I find you, you stubborn jackass." Jensen steadfastly ignored the way his hands shook when he sat the photo back down.

...

Ten minutes later, Mike was practically running over to Jensen, his face serious for once.

"Tommy called Morgan, apprised him of the situation. He's on his way." He clasped Jensen's shoulder and Jensen looked up at him. He was reminded of that terrible day years earlier, the first time he'd ever lost one of his fellow officers, of Mike covered in his partner's blood, eyes filled with rage and grief and features blank. "We'll find him, Jensen. We won't let anything happen to him."

Jensen nodded, not able to speak. He simply handed the files to Mike wordlessly, watching as the other man sat on the corner of Jared's desk and started to go through them.

"Sonofabtich. Hey Tommy!" Mike called, shuffling the papers. "Get your ass over here. Jesus Christ."

Tom came over, features painted with concern and took the papers from Mike. After a few minutes he whistled low, looked over at Jensen. "You put this together, man?"

Jensen nodded, picked idly at his jeans, watched the clock tick.

"When did you find out about the murder weapon?" Mike asked, poking Jensen, obviously trying to distract him.

Jensen swallowed the lump in his throat. "About half an hour ago. Steve called me at home, apparently he had a friend down in D.C. do some digging and run some tests for him. When he described it... Christ, it's that knife Chad's had since he was in the Army. You know, that one he carries everywhere like this is the fucking Old West or some shit and not New York City." Jensen took a breath when he realized he was ranting a bit. "It's his knife, that's the murder weapon."

He stood up and started to pace, hand rubbing down over his face as he heard the door slam open and Morgan's voice boom out. "Alright. Someone wanna tell me why I had to drag my ass down here when I could be at home drinking beer and watching the Yankees kick ass? And also why the hell Ackles is here when I specifically remember telling him this morning to make himself scarce?"

Jensen let his hand fall to his side for a moment before he grabbed the papers from Mike and Tom. He stalked over to Morgan and thrust the papers at him, his mouth set in a grim line.

"I know who the killer is, we all know who the killer is. And worse, he knows who and what Jared is." He paused and got a sick sense of satisfaction as he watched the color drain from Morgan's face. "Oh and Jared isn't at his corner. But there is a whole hell of a lot of blood and we have a crime scene unit over there right now."

Morgan took the papers from Jensen and scanned them, mouth thinning as he read. "Goddammit." He looked up, started shouting orders. "Alright, I want an APB out on one Chad Michael Murray, Caucasian male, age twenty-five, six foot, approximately one hundred and seventy pounds, blonde hair, grey eyes. He is the suspected killer of at least four prostitutes and has possibly kidnapped an officer, one Jared Padalecki. Suspect is to be considered armed and extremely dangerous. Now go. We have a cop out there missing."

He turned to Jensen then and sighed as people ran to do his bidding. Clapped Jensen on the shoulder then turned and started walking towards his office.

Jensen yelled after him. "Where are you going?"

Morgan turned, gave him a smirk. "You're going to need your gun, aren't you?"

...

Jared's vision was fuzzy and he was having trouble staying conscious but he kept fighting, hoping for a miracle, something, anything to save him from Chad's madness and a painful, gruesome death. Chad was breathing heavily, his eyes wide and crazy as he circled Jared, his demented laughter echoing in the empty warehouse.

Jared bit through his lip to keep from screaming when Chad suddenly drove the knife into his side. The pain was unbearable, warm blood oozing from the wound as Chad came back into Jared's line of vision. Jared could feel tears pouring down his cheeks but could care less. He had no idea what, if any, organs Chad had hit when he'd stabbed him but from the amount of blood he'd already lost, he knew he was a goner and soon. He tried to keep his mind focused on Jensen, wanting to him to be the last thing he thought of in this world.

Chad was still ranting, his words a low buzz in Jared's ears, Jensen's face a blurry image in his mind's eye as he started to lose consciousness. Chad's form was getting dimmer as he bent over Jared, knife edge toying with the tender skin on Jared's neck. He felt a drop of blood well up, slide slowly down when Chad nicked his skin.

"Any last words, Jared?" Chad muttered, obviously getting ready to go in for the kill.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang and Chad's eyes widened as a red stain blossomed across his white shirt. He raised the hand that wasn't holding the knife to his chest, fingers coming away sticky with what Jared realized distantly was blood as he staggered forward, collapsing onto his knees.

The stain spread rapidly as Chad's face lost all color, blood flecking his lips as his chest started to rattle. He looked blankly at Jared for a minute before he fell face first onto the concrete floor, knife skittering away as he took one last labored breath. Jared stared at him, mind unable to comprehend what had happened until he managed to lift his heavy head and watch as what seemed like hundreds of New York City police officers came streaming into the warehouse.

Suddenly, there was someone kneeling at his feet, undoing the ropes binding them to the chair. Jared felt his head sway a little as he slowly recognized Jensen's hair, and Jensen's sure, capable hands running up over his legs, as if to reassure himself that Jared was still there. He looked up at Jared, cupped his face and Jared tried to smile, a low persistent buzz ringing still in his ears. Jensen slowly took his gentle hands away from Jared's face and carefully freed Jared's wrists.

Jared slumped forward into Jensen then, unable to hold himself upright, too weak from blood loss. His head landed on Jensen's strong shoulder and he heard Jensen swear as he caught sight of not only all of the slash marks covering Jared's torso and arms, but the stab wound in his side and how profusely it was bleeding.

Jared managed to right himself long enough so he could look into Jensen's tense and worried face, eyes bright with what almost looked like tears. He gave Jensen a weak smile then whispered hoarsely, "Maybe I do need someone to take care of me. Want the job?"

Jared's vision went dark as he slumped forward onto Jensen, unconsciousness a welcome relief from the pain and terror.

...

Jensen's heart had been in his throat the entire time they'd been searching for Chad. It had taken nearly an hour and a half until a patrol car had spotted Chad's beat up old Honda parked outside of an abandoned warehouse. Morgan put in a call to have all available units join them and when Jensen made a move to head inside the building, Morgan had to physically restrain him.

"We have to wait for back-up, Ackles. You going in there and getting yourself killed isn't going to help Padalecki."

Jensen had felt his shoulders sag a little, knowing he was letting his personal feelings get in the way of procedure and protocol.

He nodded and stepped back, watching over Morgan's shoulder as Mike and Tom and a few other cars pulled up, lights flashing blue and red against the side of the decrepit building.

"Fine. But I wanna be the one to take this sonofabitch down," he said, voice curt and threaded through with worry.

Morgan nodded. "He's all yours, son."

Jensen had nodded, vaguely acknowledging Mike and Tom as they came over to him, faces set in grim lines of worry and betrayal, something that everyone there was feeling.

Morgan got them into position and they headed in, surrounding Chad where he had Jared trussed up in the warehouse like some sort of Christmas turkey. Jensen had to bite his lip hard and concentrate on not just opening fire when he saw the blood covering Jared. Logically he knew that they had to wait, had to make sure Jared wouldn't get caught in the cross-fire but right at that moment Jensen wanted nothing more than to riddle Chad full of bullet holes.

They crept slowly through the shadows, Chad so intent in his cutting of Jared and raving that he never noticed, not even when they got within fifteen feet of him, hidden by crates left by the previous owner of the warehouse. Jensen was about five feet to the left of Morgan, waiting for his signal to go ahead and take Chad down.

Jensen had to bite back a shout then, watching in horror as Chad stabbed Jared in the side. The moment stretched out in Jensen's mind, almost as if time itself slowed down - his hearing became more sensitive and he could feel every bead of sweat that traced down his skin as he watched the scene before him play out.

His gaze swung to Morgan, who waited until Chad was standing once again in front of Jared, looking like he was ready to slice Jared from neck to navel, before he gave the signal. Jensen's heart pounded as he sent up a prayer to whoever was listening to let his aim be true and for Jared to come out of this alright. He gripped his gun, palms a little sweaty as he sighted it, aiming for Chad's heart.

He hesitated a moment before pulling the trigger, thinking of how Chad would shoot pool with him, bring over a six pack to watch the game, had helped them move, for Christ sake, and then shook his head, pushing the thoughts of Chad, his fellow cop and Jared's good friend and partner out of his head and focused instead on Chad the psycho killer who was intent on murdering Jared right in front of Jensen. He took in a breath and squeezed the trigger, everything going slow and silent as he watched the blood spread on Chad's back before he tipped forward.

Jensen was up and running towards Jared before Morgan could give the go ahead. He skirted around Chad's body as the building was suddenly swarming with NYPD personnel, kneeling in front of Jared's slumped form, hurriedly undoing the bindings around his ankles. Jared's eyes were barely open and Jensen cupped his face, making Jared look at him. He gave Jensen a weak smile and blinked slowly, sluggishly, as Jensen's thumbs smeared the blood from his head wound over his cheek. Jensen's heart was racing, stomach a bit sick at the sight of all the blood covering Jared but he pushed it down, knew he had to stay cool for Jared's sake a little bit longer.

He reluctantly let go of Jared's face and undid his wrists, grunting and swearing under his breath as Jared slumped forward into his arms. He felt like he was going to pass out when he got a good look at not only all the cuts covering Jared but the stab wound in his side.

Jared pushed himself upright as Jensen tried to blink back sudden tears, made some remark about maybe needing someone to look after him right before he went limp in Jensen's arms. He didn't even realize he was screaming for help until Mike was there with an EMT and a stretcher. The EMT, Chad Linberg, was someone Jensen knew, worked with all the time yet he irrationally didn't want him touching Jared. It took Mike's convincing for Jensen to let go of Jared's limp form.

Jensen stayed by Jared's side, Morgan obviously knowing he wouldn't be any help in gathering evidence or fielding questions from the press that had appeared out of nowhere. He watched as the EMT's worked on Jared, his hand holding tightly to Jared's as they carefully loaded him onto the stretcher and wheeled him out. They had to cut his jelly bracelet off in the ambulance to start an IV and Jensen took it, fingers worrying over it as he watched the slow rise and fall of Jared's chest.

Jensen wasn't aware of climbing into the ambulance or of Mike getting in with him. He didn't remember much of the ride to the hospital, only remembered praying to a god he wasn't sure would even listen to such a wayward son anymore, just knowing he needed Jared to be okay. The EMT's wouldn't tell him much beyond that Jared was stable but Jensen wasn't stupid, he'd been around, had been on the force for years. He knew losing that much blood wasn't good, that Chad more than likely had hit Jared's kidney or another vital organ, or hell, organs, when he stabbed him, maybe even an artery for good measure.

He knew losing Jared was a very real chance at that point in time.

He tried to follow when the paramedics wheeled Jared into the E.R. and the trauma room but was prevented by the nurses and Mike's arms. Mike led him to the waiting area, hands strong and sure on Jensen's. He was talking to Jensen but Jensen couldn't make out the words, couldn't hear anything above the low buzz that filled his hears, couldn't see anything beyond his blood-stained hands, Jared's black broken bracelet clenched in his fingers.

Mike sat him down in one of the bland chairs, one hand steady on his back. Mike was sitting forward, the other hand still clutching at Jensen's shoulder and he slowly became aware of the fact that Mike was handing him a tissue. He shook his head no, couldn't make himself let go of the bracelet and was shocked when Mike tilted his face towards him, his voice finally breaking through the buzz in Jensen's ears.

"Jen, come on. Wipe your eyes, got blood on your face, c'mon man, Jare wouldn't want you to be like this," Mike said, voice soft and thick, like he was having a hard time holding back his own tears. Jensen belatedly realized he'd been crying, tears streaming down his cheeks and must have been since the warehouse. He looked at Mike, wrapped his hand tight around the bracelet and put his head in his hands, giving into the sobs that were just beneath the surface, breaking down there, in the middle of the waiting room of the E.R. at Saint Lucy's.

...

The hours Jared spent in surgery and the day after were some of the longest of Jensen's life. He was thankful to whatever guiding force or god that made both him and Jared change their emergency contact information and power of attorney after moving in with each other, otherwise Jensen would've been in the dark about Jared's condition.

The doctor was a cute little thing Jensen remembered from a visit months ago when Jared had gotten a concussion from falling off their bed at their apartment, of all things. He thought her name was Sandy but wasn't sure. She came over and sat down across from him, her face kind and concern written all over her features. Jensen felt his stomach twist as she took his hands and he felt bile rise in his throat, not wanting to hear her say the words that would change him, his life, forever. He couldn't live without Jared, he just- there was no way.

She was squeezing his hands and trying to get him to look at her and finally, her low, controlled voice got through.

"He's stable, Jensen. He's not out of the woods and they're taking him to surgery to take care of some internal bleeding but the knife didn't hit anything major like his kidney or his intestines. We're a bit worried because he lost so much blood and from the appearance of some of his wounds it looks like infection has already set in." She paused; held onto Jensen's hands tighter. "If he makes it through surgery and the next twenty-four hours, I have no doubt in my mind he'll make a full recovery."

Jensen bit his lip, his mind latching onto the word 'if' as he felt his head swim again. Sandy... McCoy, Jensen remembered, that was her last name, stood and gave Mike a weak smile. She squeezed Jensen's shoulder once again before starting to leave.

She stopped a few paces from Jensen and looked back at him.

"He's a fighter, Jensen. I've know him for years. Don't forget that. And he has something to live for." She gave a little wave and turned the corner, disappearing.

Jensen remembered Tom coming in a few minutes later and Mike standing up, pulling the other man into a tight embrace. Distantly, Jensen knew Mike was reliving that night with Barry years ago and was thanking his lucky stars that he'd found Tom. Tom came over after a lengthy hug with Mike while Mike made a coffee run and pulled Jensen up, wrapping him in a bear hug. Jensen weakly hugged him back, mind and body numb.

Tom pulled back and tugged on Jensen's arm. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up a little. Then we can go up to the waiting room on the third floor while Jared's in surgery, alright?"

Jensen nodded and let himself be led to the bathroom. Tom gently took the bracelet away from him, setting it carefully on the sink before wetting a paper towel and proceeding to wash Jared's blood off of Jensen's face and arms. Jensen let him; felt like a rag doll in Tom's capable hands. He stared dumbly at the pink-tinged water that swirled down the drain, tiny bits of Jared's life gone just like that.

When Tom was finished, he wiped the blood off of Jared's bracelet before handing it back to Jensen and herding him towards the elevators. Once on the third floor, he continued to lead Jensen into the waiting room and then into a chair. He settled in beside him and Jensen sat forward, elbows resting on his knees as he turned the bracelet over and over in his hands, mentally saying every prayer he'd ever learned, needing Jared to make it.

He had no idea what he'd do if he didn't, couldn't even contemplate it.

Jensen didn't even acknowledge Mike when he came in fifteen minutes later carrying Starbucks and a bag of food from O'Malley's. He let his coffee go cold as the waiting room slowly filled up with people from the precinct. Morgan showed up about an hour after Jensen first sat down and made his way over, sitting in the chair next to Jensen, one hand clapping him on the shoulder before he let it drop back to his lap.

He cleared his throat and Jensen looked at him, knowing everything he was feeling had to be showing in his eyes and not caring one damn bit.

Morgan flushed and cleared his throat again. "I just... God, I'm so fucking sorry, Ackles. I shouldn't have let my fervor to get this case solved cloud my judgment, which is what I did. I had the Feds breathing down my neck and was getting all Alpha male and territorial and Jesus, all of this sounds so goddamn stupid when Jared's in there... Fuck it. I fucked up, royally, and I owe you a huge apology."

Jensen swallowed, nodded, then just turned his head, not able to spare any emotion, too focused on Jared to forgive. He just couldn't spare anything. He'd deal with Morgan later.

...

Five hours later, a Doctor Edlund came out to talk to Jensen; took him out into the hallway to speak privately. Jensen couldn't take his eyes off of the floor, tried to read something, anything about Jared's condition from Edlund's blank expression. The door clicked shut behind them and then Edlund was talking, throwing around medical jargon and three syllable words that held no meaning for Jensen. Edlund's speech was winding down and Jensen _did_ know what 'stable' and 'won't have any lasting physical affects' and 'some minor scarring' meant.

It meant Jared had made it through the big hurdle, of being cut open on that table and now all that remained was to make it through the next nineteen hours without slipping away from Jensen. He nodded at Edlund and then stood there for a second as the doctor started to walk away before he called out, stopping him.

"Um, when can I see him?" Edlund smiled and told him that as soon as Jared was out of recovery and in his room in the ICU, Jensen could sit with him if he liked. He added that it was against hospital policy but since he and Jared were heroes, Saint Lucy's was willing to bend the rules a little. Jensen nodded, not feeling like a hero at the moment as a knot of emotion bloomed in his chest, a mixture of grief, betrayal and fear, worry, love.

He went back in to tell the rest of their co-workers and friends the news and to wait for Jared to come out of recovery.

...

The first thing Jared was aware of was a stinging in his side. Then, a beeping off to his left. He opened heavy eyes, blinking them a few times, trying to get rid of the feeling of sand in them and looked around. His entire body was aching now and his mouth felt like a small furry rodent had died in it. He turned his head to the side and caught sight of a bent head resting on the bed beside his right hand.

He smiled when his fuzzy brain recognized that hair as belonging to Jensen and he raised a heavy hand, the one that had tubing and tape covering the back of it, to pat clumsily at the crown of Jensen's head, his hair rumpled and spiky.

Jensen stirred at the touch, hand coming up to rub blearily at his eyes. He sat up and his eyes widened, features shifting through too many emotions for Jared to catalog before he was clutching at Jared's hand and kissing it. Jared let out a rusty sounding chuckle and patted Jensen's cheek, cupping his jaw. Jensen gave him a small smile before putting his head back down on the bed, his shoulders beginning to shake. Jared was confused for a minute but when the sound registered, the sound of Jensen _crying_, he brought his still un-cooperative hand up and patted his shoulder, feeling the pull of unconsciousness and trying to fight it.

He slipped back into oblivion to the sound of Jensen sobbing out his relief in the sterile hospital room.

...

The next time Jared woke up, Jensen was still sitting beside his bed. Although this time his eyes were clear of tears, they were red-rimmed, blood-shot, and had huge bags under them. He was leaning heavily on the palm of his hand, elbow propped on the arm of the chair. His once pristine white tee shirt was rumpled and stained with blood. Blood, Jared realized with a bit of horror, that was his own.

Jensen gave him a weak smile and sat forward, hands settling in his lap, as if he wanted to touch Jared but was afraid to. Jared gave him a smile in return and reached out, tugging on Jensen's arm until he could lace their fingers together.

"Hey you," he murmured, throat aching a bit, voice raw.

"Hey yourself," Jensen whispered, his hand clenching Jared's tightly. He may have been hesitant to touch Jared first but he certainly wasn't worried about clinging. Jared squeezed him back, glad for the contact.

"What's the damage?" he muttered, shifting a bit, wincing as his side twinged. Jensen watched him with a careful eye, noticing the pain as Jared shifted.

"You're goddamn lucky. Get stabbed and the knife manages to miss any major organs and not nick any arteries. Did have a lot of internal bleeding and some infections in some of your other cuts but you'll live," Jensen's eyes were a tad too bright when he said the last bit but Jared didn't mention it, just let Jensen turn his head and wipe a hand down his face. He turned back after a moment and smiled at Jared, eyes still shining.

"I'm sorry, Jare," he murmured, smile wavering as he dropped his gaze to their entwined hands. "Sorry about everything. Sorry it was fucking Chad of all people. Christ... man. He was... he was your friend, not just your partner. And he almost... he could've..."

Jensen paused, took a breath.

"Most of all, I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. It's not that I doubted your competency, Jared. You're a damn fine cop, one of the best I've ever met." He paused, fingers of the hand that wasn't clutching at Jared's fiddling with something just out of his line of sight. "I just - I love you, alright? So it's different with you than with anyone else. I don't fucking care if it's a goddamn double standard. I just love you. A lot. So I worry. You're gonna have to learn how to deal with it if you still-if you." He paused, throat working as he swallowed, gaze coming up to meet Jared's, his eyes bright with emotion. "If you still wanna come home with me when they release you."

Jared smiled and let out a chuckle and untangled his hand from Jensen's, bringing it up to cup his head.

"Idiot. As if anywhere without you would be home," Jared said, his own eyes suspiciously wet. Jensen laughed, but the sound was off and Jared knew he was trying to not let his emotions get the better of him again.

"Love you, too, Ackles. And we were both wrong and both right. Just gotta learn from our mistakes, okay? And mine was bigger than yours. I almost got myself killed. But you saved me, okay? I'm still here. Still gonna leave wet towels on the bathroom floor, still gonna wake you up on our days off with blow jobs, still gonna drool on you every night. We're still here, Jensen. And we have each other."

Jensen nodded and swallowed, his eyes still shining. Jared took his hand off of Jensen's head and threaded their fingers back together. He felt his eyes start to slip close, sleep edging in on the fringes of his brain. He cracked his eyes open once more and looked at Jensen.

"Go home and shower. You stink and you look like shit."

This time, he fell asleep to the sound of Jensen laughing.

...

A week later, Jared was released from the hospital into Jensen's capable hands. He was still sore but finally able to eat solid foods and the only real evidence of his close encounter with death was the line of staples on his side holding his incision together, the slight way he held his side when laughing or moving, and the shadows in his eyes.

It was the shadows that worried Jensen the most.

They were both ordered to see a therapist and Jensen didn't even have to talk Jared into it. Their first appointment with one Doctor Lauren Graham was in three days and they had both separate and joint sessions scheduled. Jensen knew that even if the department hadn't ordered them to do so, he would have anyway.

Jared flirted shamelessly with his nurses as they wheeled him out, Jensen and Mike trailing behind, their arms full of the cards, bears, flowers and balloons that Jared had managed to accrue in his seven day stay at the hospital. He had been a huge hit with the nurses, charming and incorrigible and most of them let him get away with whatever he wanted, thinking he was just the cutest thing ever.

Jensen watched with a smile as Jared flirted with Kristin, the pretty day nurse that was wheeling him out. They made it to the front doors and Jared squinted in the sun and Jensen felt like he was breathing properly for the first time since the morning they'd gotten the call about Milo's death. Jared got out of the chair gingerly, one hand pressed to his side briefly before he wrapped Kristin in a huge bear hug. She blushed and ended up a little flustered as she wheeled the chair back in, flashing a small smile at Mike and Jensen. Mike deposited his armload of gifts into the back of Tom's Jeep and Jensen did the same as Tom helped Jared fold his long form into the front seat.

Jensen and Mike closed the back of the Jeep and climbed in, Mikey instantly starting to gripe about Tom's choice of music and Tom shutting him up by threatening to not blow him for a month if he didn't shut the fuck up. Jared was smiling and chuckling at their friends' antics, arm slung out the open window, and Jensen smiled.

It was a good day.

...

He could remember the first night with Jared back in the apartment, how he'd curled himself around Jared and held him so tightly in his sleep that Jared had actually had bruises in a few spots the next morning. Jared hadn't said anything but Jensen had felt sick, and apologized profusely. Jared had only given him a smile like Jensen was an idiot (which Jensen knew he kind of was) and had kissed him, told him he knew Jensen hadn't meant to do it.

The next several weeks passed by in a slow blur for Jensen. A week to the day after Jared was released from the hospital, he went back to visit Doctor Edlund and received almost a clean bill of health - almost because he was still considerably weak from blood loss and not up to his usual form. Doctor Edlund assured them both that with time and rest, Jared would be back to his old self in no time.

Jensen shook the man's hand on the way out, grateful to him in a way he couldn't ever express in words. That night in bed, after Jared fell asleep with the help of his pain killers, Jensen traced a shaky hand over the still red and angry line on Jared's side and silently thanked whoever was listening to him that night, whoever it was that had given them a second chance.

The sessions with Doctor Graham were hard for Jensen at times. She told him that he needed to let Jared breathe a little, told him that she knew it was hard, especially after the ordeal they had been through, but that it was necessary for their relationship. Jensen knew that but for the first few weeks, he couldn't help the low-level panic that burned under his skin whenever he wasn't in the same room as Jared. It got better but not overnight.

Especially when about two weeks after his release from the hospital, Jared started having nightmares. He woke Jensen nightly with his tossing and turning, waking up himself nearly every night gasping for air, eyes wild. Jensen didn't say anything, just watched Jared silently until he went back to sleep, curled up on his side facing Jensen. Jensen wasn't sure how to handle it, knew that Doctor Graham had told them that to make their relationship work, if one of them needed or wanted help with a problem from the other, they needed to ask first. So far, Jared hadn't asked Jensen for help with the nightmares.

Jared was the one to bring them up in their next joint session with Doctor Graham, who insisted they call her Lauren. Jensen was a bit surprised but reached over and took Jared's hand anyway when he described them, the terror at being tied in that chair again, of events playing out differently, of not getting rescued, or - and this one made Jensen squeeze Jared's hand so hard he asked after the session if he had broken anything - ones where Chad managed to find Jensen and stab him before Jensen could shoot him.

Jared admitted in a shaky voice that was the most recurrent one and the most frightening of them all.

That night, when he woke up shaking, breath rasping, he turned to Jensen, his eyes pleading. Jensen opened his arms wordlessly and Jared burrowed into his side, large arm clasped around Jensen's waist. They slept peacefully for the rest of the night and every time after that, Jared didn't hesitate to turn to Jensen if he woke in the night from a bad dream.

Three weeks into their two month sabbatical from work, Jared got the go-ahead to start working out again, to build up the strength that he'd lost. He began to run every morning and even though Jensen was _not_ a morning person in any way, shape or form, he started to go with him. They ran the streets in their neighborhood, the early morning September sun just starting to peek over the buildings at them as they would end their runs at the Starbucks down the street from their place. They would each devour a muffin and some coffee then walk back to their apartment, stopping for a newspaper on the way.

Jensen helped Jared work out in their small home gym. When they'd moved into 'their' apartment, as Jared always called it, air quotes and all, they'd designated the spare bedroom as the home gym and had filled it with the various work-out equipment they'd both accrued over the years. It was better than going into the station house some days and after everything with Chad, Jensen still wasn't sure how Jared was going to react to having to go back there.

He was saving that particular bridge-crossing for their next appointment with Lauren.

Every morning after they'd finish their coffee and read the newspaper together, they'd head into the spare room and work out, Jensen spotting Jared. It was quiet and easy and Jensen could feel them slowly falling back into the rhythm of 'them,' almost how they had been before everything but not quite. Their relationship had changed but he couldn't help but think for the better. Yes, it had been strained and tested and Jared had almost died, but they'd come out on the other side, whole, still intact and were all the stronger for it.

Six weeks to the day after Jared was released from the hospital, Jensen woke before the sun was even over the horizon, mind slow to catch up with his body, wondering for a minute what had woken him before the hot, wet slide of Jared's mouth around his cock registered. He inhaled sharply and wound strands of Jared's silky dark hair around his fingers, enjoying the sensation of the velvety feel of Jared's mouth and tongue around him for a few minutes before he gently pried Jared's mouth off of him, his own chest heaving. Jared's lips were shiny and he was smiling, eyes wide and dark.

"Jare, Jared man... are you... can we?" Jensen asked, fingers skating down over the soft skin of Jared's face, as his thumb traced over his deep dimple in his left cheek.

Jared turned his head a little, pressed a soft kiss to Jensen's thumb. "Got the go ahead yesterday from both Doctor Edlund _and_ Lauren to resume all... normal activities." He looked up from where he was laying between Jensen's splayed legs. He smiled, mouth and eyes wicked with intent. Jensen shivered and ran a suddenly unsteady hand over Jared's hair again.

"Really?" Jensen asked, voice rough with sleep and desire.

Jared nodded. "Really."

Before Jensen had a chance to respond, Jared's mouth slid back down over Jensen's already slick cock, making his hips arch up, fingers tensing in Jared's hair.

Jared smiled around Jensen's erection and placed his tan hands on Jensen's hips, holding him down as he tongued the throbbing vein on the underside of Jensen's cock. Jensen whimpered, head tossing on the pillow, hand tightening in Jared's hair as he started to suck in earnest, taking Jensen deep in his throat before pulling almost all the way off.

One hand wrapped around the base of Jensen's cock before Jared pulled off completely, tongue worrying the small cluster of nerves right under the head. Jensen arched at the sensations shooting through his body, crying out Jared's name harshly into the small dark room, earning him a winning smile from Jared. His blood thrummed through his veins as he watched his boyfriend slowly jack his saliva-slick dick, every inch of Jared's once again toned body naked. As Jared slowly sat up, Jensen noted Jared's own cock hard and heavy, blood-red and thick between his thighs. Jared's eyes shone with emotion, love and lust and Jensen felt them mirrored in his own.

Jared let go of Jensen's cock and slid up his body, mouth trailing slickly over every inch of Jensen's skin he came across. Jensen was panting, his own hands running over Jared's damp skin, relishing the feel of him under his hands once again like this. Finally reaching Jensen's mouth, Jared placed a soft kiss on his lips before he pulled back, his hands braced on either side of Jensen's head. He smiled, teeth white and bright and Jensen found himself smiling back.

"Hey you," Jared whispered as he leaned down, resting his forehead against Jensen's.

Jensen found himself beaming at that, hands running down Jared's lean flanks. "Hey yourself," he murmured back.

Jared closed the small gap between their mouths and slid his lips over Jensen's, tongue edging out and tracing the plump shape of Jensen's mouth. Moaning in response, Jensen wrapped his arms tight around Jared's waist. The sound of Jared's chuckle was a welcome one and it spurned Jensen to dug blunt fingernails into Jared's skin. He gasped into Jensen's mouth at that, their kisses became hotter and deeper, pent-up want and need getting the better of both men.

After long minutes of just kissing, hands running over skin, relearning places that they'd almost forgotten, Jared pulled back. He smiled at Jensen, his own lips swollen from kissing then tugged and maneuvered until Jensen was on top of Jared. Jensen looked down at him questioningly, braced himself above Jared.

"Jare, man... what's... what's this..?" Jensen trailed off, his breath ragged.

Jared grinned, expression wicked, and ran his hands down Jensen's back, cupping his ass. "Want to feel you, Jensen, want you inside of me."

Jensen felt what little blood was left in his body flood south, the wave of desire very nearly sending him over the edge before he could respond. He inhaled sharply and bent down, nuzzling at the musky, sleep-scented skin of Jared's neck.

"You sure?" he murmured into Jared's skin, needing to know. Not that they had defined roles in their relationship but Jensen was usually more than happy to bottom, to let Jared inside of him, fuck him until he was breathless. The occasions when Jensen fucked Jared were far and few between, rare and precious and Jensen felt his chest tighten at what this moment meant for them. Knowing what Jared wanted this to mean for them.

Jared nodded, hands carding through Jensen's hair, shaggier than it had been since before he'd entered the academy. He was glad in the moment for holding off on getting it cut, and practically purred at the feel of Jared running those long, elegant fingers through it, fingers pressing into his scalp.

Jensen pulled back and smiled at Jared, bending down to kiss him, a quick, hard press of lips on lips. "Love you," he murmured, cheeks flushing as he watched Jared's eyes light up.

"I know, Jen. Love you, too," he answered back, his voice as soft as the hands running softly down Jensen's cheeks.

Jensen smiled and reached over to their nightstand, fumbling for a minute in the drawer before pulling out the neglected bottle of lube and dropping it on the bed by Jared's hip. He sat back, kneeling between Jared's now bent legs and ran a hand down the hair roughened skin of Jared's calf, flashes of the first time they'd been in this position burning in his mind's eye. How gorgeous and forbidden Jared had looked spread out on that cheap hotel bed, handcuffed to the post. How much want had burned through Jensen's veins for him then and how much it still did.

But now Jared was all his, no longer forbidden but still gorgeous, still making want burn in Jensen, deep in his gut, with just the slightest look. Now that want was mixed with so many other feelings; love and respect and friendship. Jensen bent down, kissing the edge of the pink skin of Jared's incision scar that was showing on his side. Jared hissed in a breath and Jensen looked up at him, put everything he felt for Jared in his eyes and got a blinding smile in return.

Jensen reached for the lube then, hands trembling slightly as he popped the cap, dribbling the cool liquid over his fingers. Jared watched him through lowered lashes, one hand rubbing up and down Jensen's arm. The lube left a shining trail on Jared's skin as Jensen slid his hand back, fingers easily finding Jared's entrance, circling the soft skin. The press of fingertips made Jared hiss, his eyes shifting closed as Jensen eased a finger inside. Jensen let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding at the feel of Jared around him.

"God, Jare, so tight, so hot," he murmured, almost unaware he was speaking. It had been a long time since they'd done this, with Jared being on the receiving end, and it showed in the tightness of his body. Jensen took his time, slowly stretching him with one finger before adding another, watching as a flush bloomed up over Jared's abdomen and chest. Watching as Jared's chest started to heave with his panting breaths. His hands scrabbled at the navy sheets when Jensen added a third digit, Jensen's other hand circling Jared's cock, jerking him off slowly, enjoying having Jared spread out before him, completely at his mercy. His own cock was standing stiffly, leaking pre-come as he slowly drove Jared higher and higher.

Jared whimpered in his throat, hands pushing at Jensen's where they were between his legs, grabbing at the wrist that was attached to the hand stretching him open.

"Jen, Jen, please, god... n-need you inside of me, now, can't wait, please god, fuck me," Jared got out, eyes opening and meeting Jensen's. Jared's eyes glittered with lust and need and love and Jensen nodded, pulling his fingers free, once more grabbing the lube. He drizzled more onto his hand, slicking his cock up with one, two, three firm jerks, hips arching into the touch. He shifted on the bed a bit, hands trailing over Jared's spread thighs, lube shining in the rough hair on his legs and on Jensen's fingers.

"You okay, Jare?" Jensen asked, rough and low. Jared nodded, licked his lips.

"Do it, Jen. Fuck me."

Jensen nodded and positioned himself at Jared's entrance, fingers circling the base of his own cock as he slid in, Jared's body still tight and a little resistant. Jared bit his lip and closed his eyes, hands cupping Jensen's lean hips. Jensen ever so slowly thrust inside, biting his own lip as he watched Jared pant underneath him, tan skin slick and gorgeous in the early morning light. Jensen ran one hand over Jared's stomach, felt the way the muscles rippled at his touch and thrust the rest of the way in, his hips fitting snugly against Jared's ass as Jared arched, Jensen's name a quiet moan on his lips.

Jensen stilled for a moment, giving Jared time to adjust, wanted to make this good for him, so goddamn good. He continued to run his hand over Jared's stomach, fingers toying with the damp trail of hair that led down over Jared's abs. Jared opened glazed eyes and half-smiled at Jensen.

"Missed this," he muttered, hand slipping from Jensen's hip to cup Jensen's face. Jensen turned, kissed Jared's palm before he thrust once, deep and slow. Jared hissed, eyes sliding almost the whole way closed again.

"Me, too," Jensen admitted before he set a languid and leisurely pace, wanted to enjoy this, make it last. Jared's hands shifted so they were wrapped around Jensen's biceps, pressing hard as he moaned and writhed. He arched, hard, when Jensen shifted forward, tugging Jared's legs up until they were resting on Jensen's shoulders. He bent down, mouth biting at Jared's as the pace became faster and rougher, Jensen hitting deeper and deeper inside of Jared with ever thrust.

Jared was babbling, non-sense words that sounded like _Jen_ and _love you, need you_ and _god, almost lost you, sorry_ and Jensen blinked sweat out his eyes and leaned down, pressed kisses into the skin of Jared's jaw.

"'S'ok, Jare. I'm here, not leaving, love you," Jensen murmured. Jared turned his head, caught Jensen's lips in a brutal kiss as Jensen brought a hand to Jared's cock and started to stroke his erection, twist at the head just like he knew Jared liked. Jared's mouth went slack against his and Jensen pulled back to watch as the flush deepened over Jared's chest, spread over his cheeks, his mouth open as he clutched at Jensen's shoulders, body rippling as he erupted hot and wet over Jensen's hand.

Jensen bit back a groan and started thrusting almost brutally, the need to come overriding anything else. Jared watched him, eyes and features slack with pleasure yet still filled with affection and Jensen sucked in a huge breath as Jared shifted, squeezed his body around Jensen's cock. He felt Jared's hands cup his head and bring him down to kiss him again, whispering against his mouth to come, that Jared wanted to watch Jensen come while he was buried deep inside of Jared.

That was all it took and Jensen was coming, body shuddering as he spent himself inside of Jared. His vision blurred and he felt the pleasure rush through him as he collapsed onto Jared's chest. Jared wrapped strong arms around him and he laid there for long minutes, face buried in the damp, musky skin of Jared's neck.

Jared stroked strong hands down Jensen's back, his chest still heaving as he tried to get his breathing back to normal. He felt as if his brain had leaked out of his dick and he wanted to lay right where he was and sleep for a week, at least. Jared pressed a kiss to his temple and Jensen made a sound that sounded suspiciously like a purr. Jared squeezed him tighter for a moment then patted his ass.

"Jensen, I love you and love being with you like this again but... dude. You're heavy." Jensen could hear the laughter in Jared's voice. Jensen nipped at the tender skin of Jared's neck for a quick moment, Jared hissing and swatting at his shoulder before he withdrew slowly from Jared's body and rolled to the side. Jared rolled with him, curling up against Jensen, his hand coming to rest on Jensen's chest, palm flat over where Jensen's heart beat sure and steady.

Jensen wrapped an arm around Jared's shoulders, pulling him closer. He turned and pressed a kiss to Jared's forehead before sighing, contentment seeping through every one of his pores. Jared burrowed into Jensen's neck and Jensen could feel him smiling against his skin.

They fell asleep like that, arms and legs entwined, Jared's lips pressed softly to Jensen's neck.

...

Jared woke up a few hours later to find Jensen laying on his side, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips as he watched Jared slowly wake. He smiled at Jensen and Jensen reached out, tugging on a strand of Jared's hair. Jared traced his thumb over Jensen's collar bone, smile slowly melting off his face as he thought back to that night.

"Jare, man. What's up?"

Eyes sliding back to Jensen's face, Jared gave him a weak grin. "Just thinking... you kept me going, you know."

A cloud of confusion passed over Jensen's features. His eyes went wide as realization dawned. "Jared, you don't have to talk... We can wait until the next session with Lauren..."

Jared's smile got stronger, bigger. "No, it's okay. I want to. It's a good thing, Jensen. Even with everything that had happened with us... It was still thinking of you that got me through. Of what we are together, what we have together. You kept me going, Jensen. You kept me alive."

Jensen's hand shook a little, his eyes bright like when Jared first woke up in the hospital. "Jare.. " His voice was soft, ragged around the edges. He didn't say anymore, just leaned forward, hand cupping Jared's nape and kissed him, rough and deep. His tongue delved inside Jared's mouth, his grip tight on his neck. Jared whimpered a little into the kiss, his own hands cupping the sides of Jensen's face as they kissed, both of them pouring a multitude of feelings into the gesture.

When they pulled back, their lips were bee-stung and shiny with saliva. Jensen smiled at Jared and Jared rubbed his thumb along the fullness of Jensen's lower lip.

"I love you," he murmured, watching Jensen's eyes flare with heat and affection, just like they did every time he said those three little words.

Jensen smiled and nipped at Jared's thumb before answering. "Love you, too, Jared."

They leaned in again, the kiss this time short and sweet but not any less emotional. Jared traced the lines of Jensen's face with his eyes as he laid back.

"Promise me something, Jen," he said, hands still on Jensen, running over his chest and arms.

Jensen leaned into his touch, his own hands kneading at the muscles in Jared's lower back, his leg wedged between Jared's thighs. "What, Jare?"

"Promise me, no matter what, we won't ever leave for a shift angry at one another again. In our line of work, you never know when it might be your _last_ day, Jensen. I just... I couldn't live with myself and I don't think you could, either, if something happened to either of us and the last words we'd spoken to each other had been in anger." He watched Jensen's face as he spoke. Jensen's hands came up to cup Jared's face, thumbs tracing his jaw line.

"Promise, Jared." He smiled, his eyes a brilliant green in the early morning sun. Jared smiled back, pressing one last kiss to Jensen's lips before hopping out of bed, slapping Jensen's ass on the way. He laughed at Jensen's outraged yelp and started towards the bathroom.

"Missed our morning run, Jen. If you get your ass in the shower in the next five minutes, I'll blow you then let you make it up to me by taking me out to eat," he called, listening as Jensen attempted to scramble out of bed, legs tangled in the sheets, making it hard for him to extricate himself. Jared laughed and turned on the shower, getting in and waiting for Jensen.

A few moments later, Jensen ripped back the curtain, a predatory gleam in his eyes and Jared reached out, pulling him in and kissing his laughing mouth as the spray pounded down on them.

...

A few weeks later, once Jared was cleared by Doctor Edlund and Lauren to go back to work, Jensen walked with Jared back into the precinct together. Jared stopped inside the door and Jensen watched him, keeping an eye out for signs of anything out of the ordinary.

He slid his sunglasses up on his head and put a hand lightly on Jared's arm. "You alright, man?"

Jared took off his own sunglasses and gave Jensen a smile. "It's a bit weird, I won't lie. But I missed it, the work, ya know?" Jensen nodded and squeezed Jared's arm once before letting go, taking a swig of coffee from the take-out cup in his hand. They made their way towards their respective desks but stopped when Morgan swung open his door and pinned them down with a hard gaze.

"Ackles, Padalecki. My office. Now."

His voice was gruff and his eyes glinted like diamonds for a second before he softened a little and then coughed to cover it up, slamming the door closed after himself.

Jared slid Jensen an amused look and they headed towards the closed door, footsteps almost falling in unison. Jensen opened the door, Jared following closely after him. They both noticed the woman leaning against the corner of Morgan's desk, arms crossed beneath an impressive set of boobs that even Jensen took notice of. She was about five foot six , with dark hair and dark eyes, a few moles dotting her cheek. The sly grin that dimpled her face seemed vaguely familiar to Jensen, and he wondered if he had met her before. He turned to look at Jared and found Jared watching her with the same open curiosity Jensen himself felt.

Morgan was sitting behind his desk, working his way through his morning Danish. He took a sip of coffee and then gestured for the boys to sit.

"Ackles, Padalecki, this is Sophia Bush. She's a transfer from the LAPD. Had a bit of a bad personal experience with her old partner out in L.A., needed a change." At this, Jensen noticed Sophia smirk and he knew there was much more to the story than Morgan was saying. His attention flicked back to Morgan's face then as he continued to speak. "Since Padalecki here is in need of a new partner, figured we'd pair them up."

He paused then, Jared and Jensen waiting for more as Sophia eyed them both with accute interest. Morgan started shuffling papers on his desk but looked up after a minute.

"That's it. Get the hell out of my office. Go catch the bad guys. What they're paying you for," he grumbled before taking another bite of Danish, dismissing them. Sophia pushed away from his desk and headed out of the office. Jared and Jensen both stood and were about to do the same when Morgan stopped them at the door with a grunt of, "Hold on a sec."

They turned and their sergeant gave them both a half smile. "Good to have ya back. Now, get out."

They both smiled and headed out. Jensen followed Jared to his desk and they watched as Sophia unpacked some personal items - a framed photo, a coffee mug, a sad looking fern - and placed them on her desk. She looked up and found them watching. Straightening, Sophia then headed around to stand in front of Jensen, hands on her hips, eyes defiant.

"Problem?" she demanded, voice a little smoky and whiskey rough.

"Naw," Jensen said, folding his arms across his chest. "Just wondering what kind of trouble you had with your partner you had to move the whole way across the country to get away from."

She smirked and copied his posture, eyes still snapping with a combination of defiance and sass. "I married him and then caught him fucking my best friend. Who was also on the force. Didn't make for a pleasant working environment any longer. Does that appease your curiosity?" Sophia arched a perfectly manicured eyebrow at him and Jensen finally realized in that moment who she reminded him of.

That very person stood up and stuck out his hand. "Ignore Jensen, he's a little overprotective but basically he's a good guy. I'm Jared. My last partner was kinda a prick, too."

Sophia's attention swung to Jared and she took his hand, shaking it. "Oh yeah? What'd he do? Screw your boy toy here?" She stuck a thumb in Jensen's direction.

Jared's face tightened and Jensen felt a knot clench high in his chest. "No, he uh." Jared rubbed at the back of his neck and Jensen put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "He kinda went crazy and killed a bunch of prostitutes and then tried to kill me."

Sophia's mouth made a small 'o' of surprise as she glanced back and forth between Jared and Jensen a minute before speaking, face tinted a bit pink with embarrassment. "Well shit. Open mouth, insert foot. Sorry. Anyway, I gotta, uh, go fill out some more paperwork. See you later, Padalecki." She pointed back somewhere over her shoulder with her thumb than nodded at Jensen. "Ackles."

Jensen watched her walk away before turning to face Jared, his body already flopped into his desk chair. Jensen perched himself on the corner of Jared's desk.

"She seems like a real spitfire, Jare. Gonna keep you on your toes," Jensen said, kicking Jared's knee lightly with the pointed end of his shoe. It would be interesting to see how two people so similar would get along and Jensen smirked, glad for Jared's new partner. Jared grinned and swatted at Jensen's foot.

"Shut up, man. You're just jealous my partner's prettier than yours," Jared said, face wreathed in a smile.

Jensen smiled back, carefully searching Jared's eyes for any lingering shadows, the ones that were so prominent right after everything had happened with Chad. He felt the knot in his chest loosen when he could find none and grinned even wider.

"I don't know, dude. Chris might look real pretty in a dress, ya never know," Jensen hopped down off the desk as Jared started to chuckle, then squeezed Jared's shoulder. "Speaking of, I should go find his ugly ass, see what's been going on since I left. He probably let everything go to shit."

Jared grabbed Jensen's hand and pulled him back, looking around to make sure the coast was clear before tugging until Jensen was braced over him. Leaning up, Jared covered Jensen's mouth with his own in a brief kiss and when he pulled away, his smile was still firmly in place.

"See ya later, Jen. Be careful out there." The unspoken 'I love you' was clear in his eyes. Jensen squeezed Jared's shoulder one last time then straightened up.

"You, too, Jare. You too." He smiled and Jared winked, the message received loud and clear. Turning, Jensen shoved his hands in the pockets of his khakis and set out to find Chris, whistling the entire way to the locker room.

**END**

**Author's Note:**

> First off, thanks to my betas, [](http://arabella-hope.livejournal.com/profile)[**arabella_hope**](http://arabella-hope.livejournal.com/), who has been with me since the beginning of not just this fic but this entire 'verse. Ang, baby, you are my beta queen and without you, this fic wouldn't even exist. Also thanks to [](http://monotonygirl.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://monotonygirl.livejournal.com/)**monotonygirl**, who beta-ed this for me despite going through a personal crisis at the time and assured me it didn't, in fact, suck. Thank you so much, Michelle.
> 
> Thanks to [](http://l0stdrag0n.livejournal.com/profile)[**l0stdrag0n**](http://l0stdrag0n.livejournal.com/) and [](http://neroli66.livejournal.com/profile)[**neroli66**](http://neroli66.livejournal.com/) who both audienced this fic at various stages of both completion and editing and to [](http://kueble.livejournal.com/profile)[**kueble**](http://kueble.livejournal.com/), for not killing me when I revealed the plot to her. :) Special thanks to Diana, [](http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=l0stdragon)[**l0stdragon**](http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=l0stdragon) for supplying me with two songs that had a major impact on the plot of this story. I also want to thank [](http://estrella30.livejournal.com/profile)[**estrella30**](http://estrella30.livejournal.com/) for running the Kink/Cliché challenge last summer, which is why and how the Cop AU 'Verse came to be in the first place. Thanks also goes to [](http://wendy.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://wendy.livejournal.com/)**wendy** who was one of the two people to convince me to do this challenge. You are the best cheerleader, baby. Your support means so much. :)
> 
> Huge, huge thanks go to [](http://users.livejournal.com/_audrey/profile)[**_audrey**](http://users.livejournal.com/_audrey/) and [](http://lost-witness.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://lost-witness.livejournal.com/)**lost_witness** for the beautiful artwork they created for this. Just... such lovely work, you guys. I am so thrilled that you both picked my fic to work on.
> 
> Last thank you! Which goes to [](http://audrarose.livejournal.com/profile)[**audrarose**](http://audrarose.livejournal.com/), [](http://estrella30.livejournal.com/profile)[**estrella30**](http://estrella30.livejournal.com/) and [](http://wendy.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://wendy.livejournal.com/)**wendy** for organizing this challenge and running it. Wonderful idea and I have so much respect for you guys for doing this. :)
> 
> Ok. Now I gush a little.
> 
> Ang, baby! My beta queen and this fic's fairy godmother. Without you, I would've never finished - hell, I would've never even signed up. You've been there for this fic since the beginning, ever since I hatched the idea, letting me bug you about it, including dramatically reading my outline to you over the phone, poring over it for hours editing, finding music and arranging it with me to correlate with the story. You pushed me and encouraged me and whipped me into shape. Half of this fic is yours, baby. It wouldn't be anywhere near as good as it is without your magical touch. I love you so much and am so grateful for everything you've done for me, especially in regards to this project.


End file.
